Thursday, May 28, 2009

I've got this....

"The man/woman who keeps busy helping the man below him/her,will not have time "envying the man/woman above him/her"-Henrietta Mears.
Using 'slash' above is what I now do to be conscious of gender use.It's really amazing how education widens your scope and leave you better than you were.I admit that there are times I question myself about things that would be considered as trivials or even useless.But it's never stopped from from tossing some unanswered questions round my head.Usually,when there's a statement about people,I expect the pronoun to use a'non-specific' pronoun.But it doesn't usually happen and I wave it as one of those things.But in the past few weeks preparing for my exams,I have learnt so much and know that there's still more to learn.I know there has never been any moment in my life that I've regretted being a pupil or student.I've always had so much value and passion for education.I cherish the idea of learning new things daily that I can't imagine being completely idle.if am not reading or writing,there're hundreds or rumination going through my mind..sifting,reminiscing and very deep thoughts.Well,I don't think the human mind would generally be'blank'.These days,I sometimes fear that my head or mind might not be able to hold some of these thoughts any longer.Anyway,that's just a fickle of my imagination.But my eyes do suffer from extensive reading.Extensive was what i did preparing for the exams.I've also come to realise that my studying pattern hasn't changed that much.I do not like to read 'far ahead' of exams..but just like to be prepared.If I did my previous work well,then I should be revising and not'reading' afresh.It would refresh the memory.Am not over the moon,just glad that my exams're finally over and I can take time to do other things like updating my blog and my journal.Even some reading that aren't for academic purposes.I realised that I wasn't nervous,just a bit uncertain.But I rekindled my self confidence&reminded myself that I've done this before and can do it again,with God on my side.The major difference is studying completely on my own,something I've never done before and didn't know what to expect in the exams.Well,counting my eggs before they are hatched would interprete that,I did it well and should not fear for failure.However,my scores might not be as high as aimed.I gave it my all and that's what matters most.It really pays to study and am so,so glad I did.Seeing some questions from what I had read made me give myself a pat on the back(figurative)......While I was reading the textbooks,I almost gave up because they were just so much to cover in a little time.Well,I have learnt to manage my time better now as a Distant Learner.I've scheduled my next semester Modules and will start ahead of the semester.I need not wait till then,afterall,I've got the study materials.
It's a good thing I feel better today and even though am not writing in my best sentence structures.I am lighter today and more relaxed than I had been in the past few days.
I also picked some interesting topics from one of my English Texbooks to help as a springboard for writing my essays.I think it would be fair to say I need a referesh course in Literature.I can't almost believe I topped my class once in that subject.Am so rusty I feel like a beginner.All my literary appreciation knowledge have been not being in use,academically.The English I offered in College wasn't anything serious since I wasn't majoring in English.I can confidently say I was doing better back home,improving my spoken English.The apathy people here have for English language is almost unbelievable.Multicultural or not,they should and need to be more receptive and tolerant of other people's tongues.I look at the whole thing from the surface and thought it wasn't the same with each one of the native tribes.The fact remains that,no country in the globe has or speaks a single language. I wonder how realistic it is for every immigrant and tourist here to learn and speak their native languages.They do not like English language,for political reasons.Why must regular people suffer for that?I do not subscribe to domination of a powerful nation over a weaker one.But I also believe there must be a meeting point.English can serve as a medium between expatriates and the natives.Neither should feel obliged to learn either's language.Afterall,I come from a multi-ethnic nation too.We are unified by the official language,and that makes life a lot easier.Am sure not everyone is interested in linguistics.There are other countless and far less stressful hobbies to choose from.It's little wonder that they speak of' Xenophobia...what do they expect?My adaptable nature has been put to test in this country and am just glad it's not my first place away from home.Else,I'd have failed the test.I guess it's not their business that am an "economic refugee".Life beyond the shores of one's homeland is not usually a walk at the park.We seek greener pasture rather than make our own soil more fertile for cultivation.So,they just couldn't care less if you are chastised or alienated for not being able to communicate.I know some of the things I joggle in my head could land me into trouble.Thank heavens,no one's reading my mind.I mean,what would people think if I said,majority of the natives are still suffering from post-apartheid syndrome...like 'language,sorry,not just any,but english language apathy?As proposterous as it may sound,it's the reality.The more I think about their lack of acceptance,the more they prove me right.My consolation would have been interacting or living amongst the elites.We could at least try to find a balance and have intelligible conversations.I would go on like....spspspspspppspsppsp...and remember am not conversing with my cousins.Funny enough,they smile in acnowledgement and you think you've communicated,until they do the wrong thing.I probably would have just enrolled myself in an english class,if I wasn't studying.I am not so sure about my spoken English at the moment,since what I do to rehearse,revise and refresh is mainly reading or writing.It's not like am going to start saying'I go to school yesterday'...but my vocabulary and choice of words have been affected.I feel like I haven't grown that much,grammatically.I could write this same words,using these same expressions,ten years ago,and that's no kidding.I also think not being in an academic field or a formal setting is a delibitating factor.That's what we call "context" in use of English.I can't be talking'formal' when am discussing with semi-skilled or unskilled people here,who unfortunately are the larger of the people I have become acquinted with, out of necessity.And am just humble enought to mingle and relate with them in a very simple way they come to think,we're the same in that respect.I have never been the type to relegate or underestimate people's abilities.I do not look down on anyone because even if am the best at something,am not at everything.If only arrogant people would think like that,they wouldn't make so much enemies.I have come to learn that,everyone needs to feel important at some point in their lives.I remember a friend insisting she wanted to give me a gift.It wasn't anything spectacular,but it was a very kind gesture from someone whom I know,can't ordinarily afford it.And since I used to be the one doing the'giving',I didn't realise that,it may not sit down well with her sometimes.And that's where my attribute of being considerate comes to play.I don't try hard to put myself in other people's shoes,it comes naturally.And the moment she insisted she wanted to do it,I just agreed and said it was okay.I had an intrapersonal communication about how 'liberating' it might have been for her.The need for'self-worth'.The need to feel like"I can do it too".
So,when am surrounded my people with little desires of life and comfortable status,I do not have to go on practising "fluency".I have to come to their 'level' of understanding.So,that leaves me with the same old simple expressions and interactions.And what would people say if they saw me talking to myself ?Am sure'nuts' would come to their minds before'soliloquising' or'rhetoric'!

One of the questions in my english Textbook asks"How has been a girl or a boy ,a man or a woman shaped your life"?Huh!I have to give a sigh before attempting to process that question.It's a food for thought and quite thought provoking.It's one of those things one doesn't really "think" about.So,I would probably continue from there in my next blog...
Signing off now!!!

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