Thursday, August 27, 2009

The giver and the taker....

If I had to consider what am feeling right now at this very moment,I should be alying with my back either on the couch or bed.But I won't give in just yet,because I surely need a break from any rigorous mental activity.My head's spinning and I think I know the reason.Aspirin won't send my headache away because that's not what it needs.But I know I'll be fine,by God's grace.

Well,since my head's usually filled with tons of thoughts,I thought I might just as well de-saturate my brain,perhaps I'd be relieved of the ache.I was almost feeling'guilty' because once again,I have placed an unwarranted responsibility on myself.Something I do more than not.I would have sent messages to virtually everyone I know and have the contact number on my phone,wishing them a fulfilling Ramadan.This, I have done though on a smaller scale.I didn't exhaust my list of Muslim friends because I went as far as I could afford.Sending international text messages is no cheap cake too.Of course I should have reminded myself that technology has eased things and I should have sent mails to some.Well,I realised access to the Internet might still be a luxury back home,so I sent the smses instead.What I do not often do is ask why they can't send me the message as well.I don't do that.The thought only crosses my mind after I've beaten myself up for not following suit.And the question crossed my mind,"when does receiving become selfishness"?When does the one that gives 'demand' to be given?Well,am sure the response to that would differ depending on the circumstances.The act of giving as I've always believed isn't just about having anything in excess,either materially or just being a good listener to a depressed friend.It has more to do with sacrifice,sacrifice of time,money(however little),any tangible material.So,I had to really tell myself to let go for a while and stop battling against what's beyond my control.
It is indeed true that to whom much is given,much is equally expected.But in reality,not every receiver feels that the law of reciprocity should take place all the time.Some people're helpless and returning a favour to them might interprete having'money'.Whereas,what one really needs is the "act" of willingness to "do",not necessarily "give"-in cash or kind ,or even both if you're so endowed.I think I deserve a break!

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