Tuesday, September 1, 2009

I became a 'mom'...


I had to do this now else,the day'd go by and it'd be a forgotten issue.I don' t think I'd be able to forgive myself if I let that happen.

My son turned six today....Hurray!!!....The experince of becoming a mother six years back isn't something I am going to forget anytime soon (if I ever forget at all,that is).While bathing him this morning I remember how tiny and fragile he was when we left the hospital for home three days after he was born.He weighed less than 3kg.He's still a 'small man' as we fondly call him but do not be deceived.Without any exergeration,I can boldly say he is one of the strongest kids I've ever come across,my entire existence.His energy is unprecedented and he's very well known for this.To say that he's a born-gymnast is no over statement.I,like many who know him marvel at his sheer display of flexibility and lack of fear to jump around,climb like a monkey,hence his nickname"Spiderman".And he would explore every object he can cling onto around him.He is simply incredible!By the time he was four months old,he had attempted to roll down from the couch onto the floor..more like falling actually.But we couldn't call it'falling' since it was a deliberate effort and he succeeded without any moan of pain.By the time he was six months old,he had mastered it and was a 'pro'.He was quite small after birth and everyone would have been misguided about his physical strength.Even I didn't know he could eb that strong.Although,I recall vividly how I complained severy of his"hard kicks" which usually send me groaning.Once a family friend who happened to be a doctor said he was a footballer in the making.No way he's going to make my tummy his football pitch,he had better come out for that.The day after he was born,the doctors had their'ward rounds' and one of them held his fingers.He held back with a very firm grip and the doctor was impressed at such firmness for a day old baby.I think I should have mentioned to her at that point that his name meant"Firmness or strong''!

He was our son,our first child,the first grandson for his paternal grandparents.Enough "first" for him!!

I remember the labour story like it was yesterday.Something tells me I'll still recall the story for years to come,same way am recalling it now.We were six women in labour,same day,just a few hours apart.Three of us had baby boys and the other three had girls.But four of us were first-time moms.So,every year,I recall the whole excitement and pride that overwhelmed our husbands.Two of us had our husbands at the labour ward entrance,spending the night.Too ecstatic and anxious to go home.My husband admitted to wanting to leave earlier,then chnaged his mind and stayed.It was a good thing he did.Not that I needed his moral support because no one was allowed into the labour rooms.But it was good for him to know it took more than a couple of pushes to bring the baby out....I think my popularity was in handling the situation better than the other two women in labour rooms with me at the same time.I tried to "endure".The doctors had their hands full.Unfortunately,one of us lost her son due to negligence on her part,but God knows best.Besides the fact that I was a first time mom,am one of those people who never take things for granted on the claim of knowing so much.This woman had had three female children and was so looking forward to having a baby boy.But she insisted she'd rather stay home till her contractions were strong,than subject herself to the minute-by minute examination by the nurses.She claimed she couldn't bear that.If you asked me,I'd tell you that was nothing compared to the labour pains.S,oapparently the baby was weak and didn't survive.I empathised with her knowing what that lost meant to her.We lived in a society where for ages,there has always been priority of male child over that of a female.It's a battle that's been on for as long as we've existed even across the globe.The elites of course are trying to turn things around but it's not just happening yet.Families with strings of businesses wish to have a male figure to take over someday.It is believed the woman belongs to another family,since she automaticcally takes the husband's name after marriage.The woman who suffered this loss was right across my bed before she was discharged and I couldn't bear to imagine what she must be going through looking at the other five mothers with their babies.I wish I could tell her that she should be hopefull and that she would have one again someday.But I did try to console her in the little way I could.I think I was about the only one who did that as I had known her from the ante-natal clinics.I remember telling her to be at the hospital on time and not delay,but she insisted she wouldn't.She had her way!!!I couldn't even think of saying the words"I told you so".All i could think of was the pain she must be in and perhaps,a guilt she wouldn't admit.I remember her telling me she was going to hold the hospital management responsible for her loss.I wonder how it was resolved eventually.

Looking back now,I remember the other kids and how much they must have grown.One of the mothers happened to be a Senior of mine in both primary and High School.She was one of my favorite seniors,very beautiful and simple.She had a boy too.So every year,I remember all of us together and how each one of us would remember the day six babies had to be delivered,almost at the same time!!!I wish I knew someone who was born same day as me....!!!

I think I expect so much from my son because he's always been not just a tough but also a very smart kid.So looking at him now and seeing him as a 'slow' to learn is almost in contrast to the toddler that he was.he could pronounce his 11-lettered name before he was one and even better than most adults.But I've come to realise he learns at his own pace an does'nt like to be rushed.However,he has a very canny ability to remember names,faces and images that almost freaks one out.You can't help but be amazed.Even when he can't read(he spells),he has recognition for logos and would recognice people's faces after so long.These are things I didn't teach him,he chooses to know them by himself.I have also been afraid of him having symptoms of ADHD because of his low concentration/attention span.But when he chooses to learn something,he does it and it sticks like a glue onto his mind.I can't possbly conclude this 'down memory lane' story now'cos I've got work to do.Maybe I'll come back to it later.Maybe not.But I've justified the essence of today...my son's 6th year anniversary and six years after I became a 'mom'...!!!Alliamdulillah for His mercies over the years.

1 comment:

  1. Hey sis...Happy birthday to your son. May God bless him.

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