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Lessons of life....

I’ve always said that there’s a life behind this machine and I think am going to make that one of my favourite quotes, since I use the computer regularly. While I was informed of someone losing two loved ones at a time, I got a call from my friend back home yesterday afternoon about s good news. Her older sister who got married in January this year had just had a baby boy. I was really happy to hear some good news for a change and I likened this to the paradox of life. While the old school mate’s wife was being buried yesterday according to a reliable source, here was someone bringing another human to life. This circumstance surrounding this new mother isn’t your regular story. My friend’s older sister married late (she’s in her late thirties) and the wedding as much as this delivery is long overdue. It is a joyous occasion for the families and I just couldn’t be happier for her (am a close friend of the family) and we go way back. These things are happening everyday. And I am just not one of those who go through life daily without reflecting on things going on around the world. Sometimes the knowledge of the incidents is just the reminder I need to be grateful for the little things I ignore and refuse to be grateful for. It also helps me when am giving admonitions to people as I use it as a point of reference. Every single day, someone somewhere is facing some form of crises or the other. People die, babies are born and while some have just found their dream jobs, others are sobbing for being fired and their livelihoods taken away from them. The list is countless. With all these thoughts in mind or within my knowledge, I can’t just breeze through life like everything’s well and good or be unconcerned.

My exam is around the corner and I was buried in not just any book, but my economics revision yesterday. I was still able to concentrate despite the stunt the ungrateful guest pulled on me. Usually, I would be too upset or angry to focus or absorb anything. Well, I know what’s at stake and the last thing I need (besides the distractions of the previous two days) is being perturbed over a situation I cannot reverse. Whether this sounds crazy or stupid, I was actually looking forward to helping this woman out when the baby finally arrives. She’d be going in tomorrow for a Caesar and I figured she was lying about getting help. So I had prepared my mind to play the “granny” and help bathe and take care of the baby when she returns from the hospital. I love babies and am very passionate about caring for them. Their innocence overwhelms me and I just love playing a nurse when it comes to babies. It’s a job am not professionally qualified for, but which I do very well and get commended for it also. There goes my fantasy!

Hubby has plan for us to travel home before the year ends and in my usual way, am trying to keep my fingers crossed. I don’t want to hold my breath as I don’t want to choke on it. There was a time I was very desperate and willing to get out of here if I could, but am not as keen as I was then at the moment. I miss home, that’s an unchanging fact. That feeling of being homesick has become part of me. I’ve never felt at home here and it’s been an unchanging feeling. I just can’t help it and do not wish I could. There more things I dislike about living here than I like and it’s not my making. The truth is, am not the only one that feels this way. For people who haven’t’ been here, they’re desperados and ignorant of the facts of living in SA. It’s not just about the over-popularised crime rate and exaggerated hospitality. There’s more to it and living here is the only thing that can give you that feeling. I can’t shake off the thought of not wanting to be resident here for long, but am going to distract and compensate myself with my ongoing degree. The helpless situation I have found myself with my Economics module wouldn’t be this bad, distant learning or not were I in my home country. I would get the assistance I need from someone definitely. But am glad at least most of my assignment results came back better than I thought and it’s almost unbelievable. I never thought I could score that high. Of course I had put in my very best and knew I would pass. Passing was no question, but to score between 70% and getting 96% in an assignment I submitted a day before deadline was highly unexpected but well deserving if you asked me. In a way, the internet’s unsuspecting disconnection is a blessing in disguise. I’ve got a letter to reply to and I’ve got some serious studying to do. But I must be honest with myself and admit that am really hoping for some miracles with this bone of contention. I cannot afford to repeat this economics module God forbid. But if I do not get 50% in the exams, that’s what would happen. The solution would be registering for something less demanding (of my absent mathematical skills) and less strenuous. I’ve got that choice and won’t make the same mistake twice. One of the lessons I’ve also learnt in my first year so far is to scrutinize the modules by getting some background info on what to expect before dabbling into it. I will put that into practice before I register for my second level optional modules. I just hope that I would get the guidance I need from fellow student using the internet forum.

Off I go now to the kitchen and then back to books. Everything needs to be balanced!


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When life happens... Or did not!

The shots we never took.
The calls we deferred.
The visit we postponed.
The misgivings we held on to.
The forgiveness we refused to grant. The help we failed to render.
The anger we refused to let go.
The families we cared not for.
The friends we ignored.
The friendship we took for granted.
The partner we cheated.
The weak we took advantage of.
The gentle ones we oppressed.
The hungry we choose not to feed.
The knowledge we hoarded.
The guidance we mute on.
The wrong we never corrected.
All of these and more, would be impossible... when the soul leaves the body.
Why not make it today and not "tomorrow"!
Who promises you tomorrow?
Why leave till tomorrow what you can do today?
Save yourself the heartache of regrets.
Everyday you wake up is a new day to do things differently.
Start now!
The loss of a loved one... Grief! I totally lost the words to describe the pain. I froze. The pen fell off my fingers. I wrote neater than I usually would-that means I was just moving from one letter to another. It lacked flow and coherence.I managed to scribble a few lines and... I just stopped. There was no use. This time, the words eluded me. I didn't need to write out my heart. I needed to let out the tears. The tears had to flow until I released enough pain holding tightly on my chest. I can say succinctly that, never in my whole existence have I cried, or wept that much. I was shattered. In great disbelief. Even though I know for a fact that, death is irreversible. I was still hoping, in my head that, the news just wasn't true. That there was just a misinformation. That we would be called back, and told it was a scare. That he passed out. And that he was awake now. But those were my delusional thoughts. My desires. If it happened during the time of Isa, the son of Mary(J…

Homeland crises...

I shouldn’t have to struggle to put down the words, I was almost blank for a second there. The thoughts of our homecountry weighed heavily on my mind and I just couldn’t help but make a personal supplication for God to see us through. It isn’t just about the fuel price inflation, but so many ills inherent in the system. Don’t get me wrong, am not preaching for Shari’ah as a legal system, but at least a fair governance of the acclaimed ‘Democracy’ we say we’ve got. So much for government of the people by the people and for the people”! It is so sad to see that people can be so obsessed with power, money and authority, forgetting where they are coming from. I mean these politicians are just ordinary humans like you and I, who have been privileged to attain their status, fairly or by fraud. The question is, how can they close their eyes to the sufferings of the people? Are they also not humans who one day would be swallowed by earth, irrespective of wealth or status? Others have gone and …