My fantasy world....
......is my own imagination,where I"wish" for not every dream;but the"good and positive ones to come true"!I welcome you to my world of fantasies.
Okay,confession time!I may not be the snobbish girl on the block,but I can be a little irritable when I start asking things (almost everything,that is) to be 'perfect'....Yeah,I am like that.Let me tell you about what I call "my domestic dilemma'.The newly employed house help is actually supposed to'drive me to the walls',but I try not to let her.Especially since I've resolved to expend my energy on the most important things in life and let trivialities remain at bay.In all honesty,I am never one of those that undermine the power of communication (not because am studying "Communication Science though).And so it was that I either had to still "do it myself",or continue to complain until am tagged"the nagging boss (or boss'wife)"...Oh!she calls me"ma'am by the way...and don't giggle because I don't let it get into my head.Many people refer to me as ma'am or Hajia (title for a female Pilgrim in Islam).But I haven't performed the pilgrimage yet.I pray to do because I am supposed to as a Muslim or at least have the intention to do so in my lifetime.It is better to die with the will and desire to perform the pilgrimage, than to see it as a'non-obligatory' act.It is just a sign of respect or simple courtesy in my homecountry for Muslim females with head covers to be referred to as such,having performed the pilgrimage or not.
I also realised that this young woman...(BTW,she's within my age range..what money can do!) seem a little uncomfortable around me or is pretending to.And am disturbed by that.I had been a victim of intimidation,suffered some low self-esteem at some point in my adult life and do not wish that on anyone.I associated the lack of coherent communication to this.But I had to be sure and had a conversation on this with the other staff at the guest .The poor woman...and clever too (this one's far older than me&even hubby as I found out a couple of months ago) didn't mince words in saying perhaps,she's "afraid" of me!!!!What????Afraid???Since when did anyone get afraid around me?As a matter of fact,I am on the contrary been taken for granted and could be disrespected because of my petite nature.The Nigerian lad who used to work for us was even misconceived to be my brother because of the way I relate with him.even my neighbour asked me this.The bottom line is,it is not a misconception that, from our association and interaction with the Southern African indegenes,they are far more passive than my people are and that's a huge difference...you may call us 'rebels'!In reference to South Africa in particular,the post-apartheid syndrome cannot be eliminated.It is still very much there and evident.So when dealing with them,it's like threading on egg shells and you have to thread carefully.And they could also be resistant because they still feel cheated and denied of their rightful place.....trust me,South Africa has enough Labour unrests the entire year to go round the entire world protests,all put together (the facts are there)....
Anyway,what am driving at is that,within the last couple of weeks this lady's worked for us...(it was my decision that she only comes during weekdays so I could have my space at least and maybe some family time too ), she has taught me to be more tolerant.I used that adjective because,she just doesn't do things my way or correctly in respect to certain things.And it's been nerve wracking trying to explain things to her.Well,I told this older staff to tell her that she doesn't need to be 'afraid' of me (I know she's not).I admitted my fault of being sometimes.....(most times actually) annoyingly meticulous and am used to doing things'my way'.Don't blame me!I grew up doing chores and when I reached the stage of being my own person,I got used to being organised,wanting things done right,disliking habits like nail bitting,nose-blowing or or making noises of clearing the lungs,overall,any kind of habit that's not publicly acceptable.I admit,I can me an annoying perfectionist..(but am not really a perfectionist)!
One thing I can tell you for certain is this,am a naturally considerate person and I get along very well with people.I'm also adaptive.Like I had written in one of my previous postings,I'm not an addict of 'anything'.I'm neither an extrovert nor an introvert.As some psychologists put it,am "an adaptable-social".And that suits me just fine .So,I have decided to pick it one at a time by not saying that she's doing things wrongly everyday.
I will try to correct one wrong at a time and save the rest for the following day.What I cannot fake is to pretend she's doing things right when she's actually not.The reason she was hired in the first instance was to have someone relieve me of my unending domestic chores so I could have time to get involved in something more lucrative like giving hubby a helping hand at the office and here at home with the guest house.Also someone to look after the kids when am at work...not to baby-sit an adult with an already formed opinion and incurable habits like making continuous sound from her teeth,like hissing in place of using a toothpick...(she's not picking anything..it's just an old habit that wouldn't die;which doesn't sit well with me).But I've never complained about this!
Okay,confession time!I may not be the snobbish girl on the block,but I can be a little irritable when I start asking things (almost everything,that is) to be 'perfect'....Yeah,I am like that.Let me tell you about what I call "my domestic dilemma'.The newly employed house help is actually supposed to'drive me to the walls',but I try not to let her.Especially since I've resolved to expend my energy on the most important things in life and let trivialities remain at bay.In all honesty,I am never one of those that undermine the power of communication (not because am studying "Communication Science though).And so it was that I either had to still "do it myself",or continue to complain until am tagged"the nagging boss (or boss'wife)"...Oh!she calls me"ma'am by the way...and don't giggle because I don't let it get into my head.Many people refer to me as ma'am or Hajia (title for a female Pilgrim in Islam).But I haven't performed the pilgrimage yet.I pray to do because I am supposed to as a Muslim or at least have the intention to do so in my lifetime.It is better to die with the will and desire to perform the pilgrimage, than to see it as a'non-obligatory' act.It is just a sign of respect or simple courtesy in my homecountry for Muslim females with head covers to be referred to as such,having performed the pilgrimage or not.
I also realised that this young woman...(BTW,she's within my age range..what money can do!) seem a little uncomfortable around me or is pretending to.And am disturbed by that.I had been a victim of intimidation,suffered some low self-esteem at some point in my adult life and do not wish that on anyone.I associated the lack of coherent communication to this.But I had to be sure and had a conversation on this with the other staff at the guest .The poor woman...and clever too (this one's far older than me&even hubby as I found out a couple of months ago) didn't mince words in saying perhaps,she's "afraid" of me!!!!What????Afraid???Since when did anyone get afraid around me?As a matter of fact,I am on the contrary been taken for granted and could be disrespected because of my petite nature.The Nigerian lad who used to work for us was even misconceived to be my brother because of the way I relate with him.even my neighbour asked me this.The bottom line is,it is not a misconception that, from our association and interaction with the Southern African indegenes,they are far more passive than my people are and that's a huge difference...you may call us 'rebels'!In reference to South Africa in particular,the post-apartheid syndrome cannot be eliminated.It is still very much there and evident.So when dealing with them,it's like threading on egg shells and you have to thread carefully.And they could also be resistant because they still feel cheated and denied of their rightful place.....trust me,South Africa has enough Labour unrests the entire year to go round the entire world protests,all put together (the facts are there)....
Anyway,what am driving at is that,within the last couple of weeks this lady's worked for us...(it was my decision that she only comes during weekdays so I could have my space at least and maybe some family time too ), she has taught me to be more tolerant.I used that adjective because,she just doesn't do things my way or correctly in respect to certain things.And it's been nerve wracking trying to explain things to her.Well,I told this older staff to tell her that she doesn't need to be 'afraid' of me (I know she's not).I admitted my fault of being sometimes.....(most times actually) annoyingly meticulous and am used to doing things'my way'.Don't blame me!I grew up doing chores and when I reached the stage of being my own person,I got used to being organised,wanting things done right,disliking habits like nail bitting,nose-blowing or or making noises of clearing the lungs,overall,any kind of habit that's not publicly acceptable.I admit,I can me an annoying perfectionist..(but am not really a perfectionist)!
One thing I can tell you for certain is this,am a naturally considerate person and I get along very well with people.I'm also adaptive.Like I had written in one of my previous postings,I'm not an addict of 'anything'.I'm neither an extrovert nor an introvert.As some psychologists put it,am "an adaptable-social".And that suits me just fine .So,I have decided to pick it one at a time by not saying that she's doing things wrongly everyday.
I will try to correct one wrong at a time and save the rest for the following day.What I cannot fake is to pretend she's doing things right when she's actually not.The reason she was hired in the first instance was to have someone relieve me of my unending domestic chores so I could have time to get involved in something more lucrative like giving hubby a helping hand at the office and here at home with the guest house.Also someone to look after the kids when am at work...not to baby-sit an adult with an already formed opinion and incurable habits like making continuous sound from her teeth,like hissing in place of using a toothpick...(she's not picking anything..it's just an old habit that wouldn't die;which doesn't sit well with me).But I've never complained about this!
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