Wednesday, December 16, 2009
A very lonely night here..
I wasn't happy leaving my kids at home since the housekeeper doesn't come on weekends and the guest house staff can't really be with them the whole time.They almost burnt down the kitchen..thank God they didn't.It just confirmed my fear of not wanting to leave them alone in the house.I have said this before but people who don't know my kids think am just exaggerating or being paranoid....my kids need 'extra-attention.I am used to being cautious and protecting them both because they play really hard and rough than most kids and needs special attention.I know am not a paranoid or an over-protective mother.Sometimes,I may get blamed for not looking after them properly.Just today,seeing my daughter cling on to the pole of the cloth-line,I starred and asked myself how I've been able to do it.How I've been able to prevent them from broken bones and scarred faces and even drowning in a non-covered five feet deep pool.But it's really not my making.God is really watching over them,even though I try my best always.Their dad has has told me I worry too much on different occasions.
My headache's subsided but I don't think I'll be able to go further this night.A couple of hours ago,I was feeling really sick and now am suddenly feeling lonely and a little homesick altogether.There are times I want to be on my own and meditate..I've had most part of the day to do that at the office.The kids're asleep now and am just on my own...this night,that "space' feels more like a vacuum that needs to be filled.
But hey,this is me..I'll get over it once I get up from this seat to do something else.I think I've inducted some of my friends into my 'appearing offline to everyone' status of yahoo messenger,when am actually online.I told them so and now they're the 'pros' of that 'coded status'..!!!Talk of boomerang!