Friday, February 26, 2010

Just another working day...

And so it happened that we finally hired a Receptionist last Monday. Since we’re a small private company, we need not put the advertorial in the dailies or the Internet. But we were able to improvise and applicants sent in their resume as requested. Not all of them showed up for the interview though. A lady had dropped off her CV a couple of weeks back and I sent her a text message to come for the interview as well. Let me confess, hers was a different case because I had taken to her the very day she came to the office to send a faxed document. She was mature, confident without being too forward and she spoke English well (to my amazement).So I made sure she was called as well. She came later than the other applicants and after the interview was over, but hubby briefed her and she said she was on board. I was testing her without her knowledge. I needed to be sure that I hadn’t been blinded by her instant charm. That she could deliver. Apparently she was! I saw her as a visionary person that very day. The new receptionist commenced her work and she was deployed to Training. But that was the last we would see of her. She didn’t show up the following day. I am not in the least disappointed because I seem to have developed a shield for disappointments where South Africans are expected. We’ve had several experiences with them and the just keep living up to expectations.Still, I like the lady…
Hubby was impressed by the typing speed of the receptionist we employed. She was faster than the other applicant and he wasted no time in hiring her. It was half-month and she commenced work right away…Yours truly was relieved of her multi-undefined duties and I was glad to leave that seat for someone else…Don’t be deceived.Truly,I am a people’s person and I’ve always done a good job being a receptionist right from my teenage years. But I am not deluded into thinking I would build a career in Secretarial duties…It’s just not that interesting or challenging for me.
The new receptionist’s trying, except that she’s a “plain Jane” ;otherwise, she’s a cool-headed young lady.
 Now am going to blow my trumpet. The charm isn’t there and pleasantries go hand-in-hand with being the first point of call in any establishment or organisation. The first impression goes a long way.Hubby didn’t tell me how a client appraised me and how helpful I was when he called to make enquiries, until this morning. Like I said, I’ve always done a good job doing that, but it’s just not my “real thing”. Anyway, the bottomline is, am now a “Trainer”. Yes o!A trainer. I have been assigned to tutor the two students that are taking a Computer Appreciation course. I tried to evade that post, but could not. Hubby has obligated me because his hands are full. I just finished with them now and am so looking forward to the weekend. My one and only friend here says she’d come visiting this weekend. At least, there’d be someone to chat with and more activities in the house. And am hoping to really try to get two caftans sewn this weekend. I need to replace my old ones.
So I’ve reluctantly accepted my new job as a ‘computer training tutor’, but I know when to ask for help. As conversant as I am with using computers, I haven’t explored the functions that much to become a trainer. But hey!I like a challenge and am not going to chicken out,again!
Still at the office….

Friday, February 19, 2010

Same ol,same ol'!

I can't deny that I get too philosophical and somewhat emotional sometimes (most times,actually).But I don't react irrationally.Recent events involving me and some close friends just got me really deep in thought (like there was actually a time my thoughts aren't deep).
I don't have the statistics,but from what I have seen over the years,men as much as women make or break a relationship.And please,do not give me the mantra about it being a"man's world".Some people just don't get it.The fact that something happens most of the time should not make it a norm.I think the reason that adage's still in use's because women have stopped believing in themselves.They've given up the fight.I respect 'certain' cultures,not all of them.For instance,am from an ethnic group that gives the right to be chauvinistic to men..You may be wondering how that is.But it's true because,they can negligently discard religion and replace it with culture.They are clearly deluded,no apologies.Some people think it's easy to say "African men are chauvinists" ,and that makes it okay for the women to condone it and suffer in silence...Newsflash!We've got rights,natural rights that even God gave us and expects us to be treated as the sensitive creatures that we are (forget that some women are tougher than men).I am so fulfilled to be born a Muslim and still threading this chosen path.My knowledge's not enough to make me a scholar.But I sure have sufficient information to make me understand how am supposed to be treated as a woman.Islam actually gives right to women just like does not,contrary to what non-Muslims (and some ignorant Muslims alike) presume.
When I get analytical like this,I hardly can stop.There's always this thing that rumbles in my tummy,triggers in me and pushes me to become some human rights activist..."Women's Rights Activist" precisely.
A very dear friend was a victim of some selfish inglorious loser recently,and I feel so helpless because of the distance between us.What would I have done,you may ask.Well,for starters,I would definately confront this immature and give him a piece of my mind.I get so irritated when women are referred to as the weaker gender'...It makes us dormant,docile, defenseless,helpless, susceptible,vulnerable and weak as suggested.
When Islam recommends that both men and women should remain faithful and committed to their marriage,the Yoruba culture preaches otherwise.Cases like the widely broadcasted infidelity of someone like Tiger Woods wouldn't have made an headliner.And if it did,there wouldn't be that much fuss.They'll simply say,"and so what'?A man can do that but a woman shouldn't or cannot.Yes,I know let me state it before am crucified.Islam permits men to have more than one wife (not concubines).But the reasons behind this ruling are usually ignored and abused.And it is nothing like what we see in the world today.Men choose to be with more than one woman for 'other selfish reasons'!
My dear friend may not be able to fight her battle herself because she's soft-hearted,very caring and that's what landed her into this trouble.What was supposed to be an advantage for her was used against her.She was taken for granted and taken advantage of.But hey!No use crying over spilt milk.I pray God sees her through this trying days and makes her affairs easy....
I will continue to nurture the plan of publishing a book and being involved in educating young ladies,women whenever and wherever I get the opportunity,by God's grace.I started the book three years back but din't get half-way before I stopped writing.I won't push it.Perhaps,I'd regain the zest and inspiration to go further in the future,if God wills.I'll keep hope alive!

"When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece"

 by John Ruskin.I had a different subject in my mind when I logged in.The very fist thing I saw was this quote and I reckon it's relevant,especially because I can relate with it.
'Skill' or pluralised 'skills',combined with love,passion,dedication and commitment,will give you satisfaction.I know it will for me!I am not claiming to be the most talented lady around here,but I sure can do more than be a wife mother and a prospective graduate of Communication Science.Please don't get me wrong.There is absolutely nothing wrong in being a full time mom and housewife or homemaker as the English would prefer to call it.Some women actually derive immense joy and satisfaction in being a stay-at-home mom,staying with their kids all day,just being a mom.There's a great reward in wanting to spend quality time with your kids and even being their first teacher is a very rewarding gesture.My faith,Islam encourages that women actually do that.There're tons of women out there who have succeeded in pursuing academics and have graduated with even Masters,some PhD and what have you.They may end up not dwelling into the league of career women,white collar jobs or even professionals;in their respective fields.
However,there are some who would not be fulfilled not being able to explore their talents and do more than parental or marital obligations.Some of us do not wish to be'career women',but still want to play a major role in the lives of our loved ones.We want to,as they say"have it all".That brings me to another issue entirely.Permit me to divert a little.I do not have the definition for that phrase,but I can translate it in terms applicable to me.
My personal definition for that would be balancing between all the roles I play first and foremost as a Muslim woman,a wife,a mother and the rest of extended-family ties.I believe  the onus is on each and everyone to decide what comes first in their life.It's a case of different strokes for different folks.As my people would say,"one man's meat is another man's poison".Family may not be in some people's priority list. Some women have even attested to being 'vilified' by motherhood,whatever that means!Anyway,what am driving at is that,I am waiting patiently until the day I would be able to explore and not 'explode ';everything I've got to give.When all the hidden skills and talents will be manifested.I am not comfortable doing this routine.And I hate to say that,documenting these unsatisfied thoughts will make my kids think otherwise when they're all grown up some day,if God wills.I don't want my kids to get a hold of my journals or diaries and then think to themselves,"mom must be a really miserable woman' (if there isn't a different word for that state of mind by then.Technology can be a really powerful tool,you know)!
As little as they are,we (their dad and I) can already see the different personalities that they both display.I can't imagine not helping them develop to their full potentials.They need a lot of support and encouragement,in the right direction.God help me with that!My son's a lot like me,and his sister's a fierce and vocal one'with the kind of confidence I have never seen in a three-year old.Trust me,am not exergerating on that one.It's quite evident.And she sure needs a close monitoring so she doesn't become a defiant or a rebel.
If mothers guard their children like Hawk,then that's exactly what am going to keep doing.I can't let these kids grow up thinking that they can't achieve difficult tasks or break barriers and overcome obstacles.I wouldn't just sit back and watch anyone kill their self-esteem.
There are things I know now and wish I had known earlier.There are so many misconceptions and misunderstandings about religion,responsibilities and duties.There are assumptions and wrong conclusions about what a woman should do and what she ought not do because she's a woman.Honestly,sometimes,I think all the books written,the seminars,conferences,workshops and lectures on 'Gender equality' aren't as effective as they should be.Otherwise,why do some women openly go into relationships with their eyes closed and their hears blocked?They make think with their minds and not heads!I do not think there's anything that could prepare women for life than the lessons taught from childhood,once they can differentiate between right and wrong.Of course life is a journey that no one can foretell because,knowledge of the future lies only with our Creator.It still doesn't suffice to say that the old jinx of women being "blindly submissive shouldn't be broken".Every stage and phase of our lives has its obligations,expectations and roles.It's like being an actor and playing different roles each time in different movies.
'Life is a teacher.The more you live,the more you learn'!I have a philosophy about learning from people's experiences and I always feel privileged when people confide in me.I share my tales too and hope they'd learn a thing or too.I do not like imposing my ideas on people,but I hate to see the people I care about hurt....

To be continued!

Sunday, February 14, 2010


It is not a sin to dream...I find comfort in having fantasies sometimes.I remember the things I used to wonder about as a child.The power of imagination is so strong it makes your day-dream almost a reality.What I still do till date is imagine what life would be like,having no pressure this much and a tranquility instead.But I agree that life without an adventure is boring,dry and uninteresting...Still,there are times I just wish I could be whisked away to some farm house or some country home,where all you see is natural.A place where you'll be awoken by the cooing and whistling of birds,where the stream flows gently without turbulence,where you can hear the King of the jungle roar,yet not be afraid.A place where you can take walks and not fear for your life.A serene place where everyone knows and appreciates sharing the same neighbourhood,where kids can explore their childhood curiousity,where everyone's concerned about everyone's safety...I dream of just going some place with some peace and quiet away from the hustle and bustle of the metropolitan city...Just be in the presence of nature...Yeah,I know.I must be talking about Paradise,huh?
I missed being with my families back home yesterday.Weddings are usually the perfect opportunity for family gatherings.I had hoped to be there.I guess I should be pray to be alive to witness many more weddings in the family...
It's Sunday and there isn't much to be done here (except watch tv and listen to the kids scream all over the house)...while their father naps or bore me with the endless political talks..and soccer too!!!What can I do?The poor guy's got no one around to chat with.So am his chatting buddy'!
I may try getting on the sewing machine today..Oh!I picked up knitting again.Am remaking my daughter's hair net....Can you blame me?Am almost dying of boredom here.

I almost didn't mention that,hubby was attacked by gun men on Friday.His two phones were taken at gun point and the cash he had on him was also taken.For some reason,I can't really explain,am over it (but not before the thought of having some defence skill or even 'tools' to knock those hoodlums out).My mind was further poisoned about calling this place 'my home'.Perhaps,things would be different  if we stayed in high-fenced houses like those we saw in Sandton yesterday.Maybe not.You see why I'm still dreaming of going away to some country home?Am just glad my husband's still alive and that my kids still have a father.They had no idea what really happened on that day.Especially since we went to Vodaworld to block their dad's phone and retrieve his number back.It all seemed like watching a movie.May God's shield be over us always!

Friday, February 12, 2010

Thorns and turns...

They say "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"..well,I hope it works"for me this time".
I may say am handling challenges better and dealing with  situations that arise more maturely.But I think am avoiding most of the thoughts and feelings am supposed to deal with.I seem to have mastered the act of locking things I do not wish to think about daily,somewhere deep down in my heart.I repress the things that hurts me and makes me lose focus,when I wish.This is the way I've been dealing with not being registered for this session,as of yet.I see no reason to browse through the school sites and partake in forum discussions,when all it does is remind me that I was supposed to be studying as well.By now,I would have been preparing to hand in my first assignment.My workload would ahev been reduced and I would have been studying more steadily,having understood the system better last year.So,I have officially added an extra year to my required duration in completing the degree.But hey!Why worry so much and let this weigh me down when I do not have a control over the situation,par say?However many times I have told myself this,it still doens't make it hurt less.I've just left my fate in the ahnds of my Creator....
Another thing that really weighed heavily on my mind was the failed plan of travelling home for my dear cousin's wedding.I had looked forward to it and was hoping I would witness it.But again,God knows best...

I have been able to convince myself that maturity may not necessarily come with age.I was thought to be mature for a seventeen year old teenager,and was thought to be twenty-one!But one thing not many know about me is that,I will (God willing) be young at heart until the day I cease to breathe!Yes,that's just 'me'.
I do ask myself sometimes if I would be able to deal with publicity,say for instance my husband decides to enter 'Politics'...That would put me in the limelight and the unnecessary attention (which I usually don't like) would prevail.I like attention,no doubt.But the "right" attention and for the "right" reasons.I would for instance like to be appreciated and acknowledged for my numerous skills...I don't want a publicity that would put my life under the microscope and scrutiny.Politicians have no privacy just like celebrities..I have a life that I definately would not want to read about in the tabloids.People from the past would sell-out on you,in order to make money.The tiniest,flimsiest and most irrelevant mistakes you've committe in your life would be magnified and you'd be crucified.These are the daily challenges of the 'public figures'.Just months back,Barrack Obama was hailed as the very First Black President to rule over a white dominated Continent.History was made and he was a sort of 'hero' for the African-Americans and the world over (for those who ignored his skin colour of course).....Now he doesn't seem like "the good guy anymore' neither does his supportive wife!There's been quotes and citations of their speeches and lifestyles.people're already beginning to think"these people are too good to be true"....and the list goes on!
Princess Diana would probably have been alive today if she wasn't running away from the paparazzi (according to the documentary on her death)..but only the Creator takes lives!Former President Bill Clinton would probably have completed his reign as Presient of the United States without blemishes,if he had'nt been publicised for'scandal'..(not that I want him to)..Tiger Woods'still fighting to regain his popularity and at the edge of not making a career come-back...if he wasn't "caught-in-the act"....Nobody would ahve cared to kno if Britney Spears was mature enough to"mother" her kids if she wasn't a hip-hop star.And right in my own backyard,I don't think anyone would care a hoot if our former Vice president Atiku Abubakar has a second wife or that Baba Iyabo fathered 'many children'......(I don't have the statistics )or that President Jacob Zuma's a core traditional who does not believe there's a killer disease that's a repercussion for promiscuity!!!
Why all these references?The thing is,these people were ordinary individuals before they became a'name' and that's what puts their lives out there for anyone to write trash about...Yeah,I know you can sue for defamation of character or libel'..But for how long and for how much?Because of these thoughts,I usually fear for becoming 'popular' even from doing the right things likebeing a Journalist writing about facts and things that reallyaffect people's lives....(not rumours or gossips).I enjoy my privacy and would decide who and who I would rather share my 'private life' with.The way journalists dig for information is almost the same as that of a private Investigator....Anyway...I've always had these thoughts and just wnted to get it out there...