Friday, February 12, 2010

Thorns and turns...

They say "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"..well,I hope it works"for me this time".
I may say am handling challenges better and dealing with  situations that arise more maturely.But I think am avoiding most of the thoughts and feelings am supposed to deal with.I seem to have mastered the act of locking things I do not wish to think about daily,somewhere deep down in my heart.I repress the things that hurts me and makes me lose focus,when I wish.This is the way I've been dealing with not being registered for this session,as of yet.I see no reason to browse through the school sites and partake in forum discussions,when all it does is remind me that I was supposed to be studying as well.By now,I would have been preparing to hand in my first assignment.My workload would ahev been reduced and I would have been studying more steadily,having understood the system better last year.So,I have officially added an extra year to my required duration in completing the degree.But hey!Why worry so much and let this weigh me down when I do not have a control over the situation,par say?However many times I have told myself this,it still doens't make it hurt less.I've just left my fate in the ahnds of my Creator....
Another thing that really weighed heavily on my mind was the failed plan of travelling home for my dear cousin's wedding.I had looked forward to it and was hoping I would witness it.But again,God knows best...

I have been able to convince myself that maturity may not necessarily come with age.I was thought to be mature for a seventeen year old teenager,and was thought to be twenty-one!But one thing not many know about me is that,I will (God willing) be young at heart until the day I cease to breathe!Yes,that's just 'me'.
I do ask myself sometimes if I would be able to deal with publicity,say for instance my husband decides to enter 'Politics'...That would put me in the limelight and the unnecessary attention (which I usually don't like) would prevail.I like attention,no doubt.But the "right" attention and for the "right" reasons.I would for instance like to be appreciated and acknowledged for my numerous skills...I don't want a publicity that would put my life under the microscope and scrutiny.Politicians have no privacy just like celebrities..I have a life that I definately would not want to read about in the tabloids.People from the past would sell-out on you,in order to make money.The tiniest,flimsiest and most irrelevant mistakes you've committe in your life would be magnified and you'd be crucified.These are the daily challenges of the 'public figures'.Just months back,Barrack Obama was hailed as the very First Black President to rule over a white dominated Continent.History was made and he was a sort of 'hero' for the African-Americans and the world over (for those who ignored his skin colour of course).....Now he doesn't seem like "the good guy anymore' neither does his supportive wife!There's been quotes and citations of their speeches and lifestyles.people're already beginning to think"these people are too good to be true"....and the list goes on!
Princess Diana would probably have been alive today if she wasn't running away from the paparazzi (according to the documentary on her death)..but only the Creator takes lives!Former President Bill Clinton would probably have completed his reign as Presient of the United States without blemishes,if he had'nt been publicised for'scandal'..(not that I want him to)..Tiger Woods'still fighting to regain his popularity and at the edge of not making a career come-back...if he wasn't "caught-in-the act"....Nobody would ahve cared to kno if Britney Spears was mature enough to"mother" her kids if she wasn't a hip-hop star.And right in my own backyard,I don't think anyone would care a hoot if our former Vice president Atiku Abubakar has a second wife or that Baba Iyabo fathered 'many children'......(I don't have the statistics )or that President Jacob Zuma's a core traditional who does not believe there's a killer disease that's a repercussion for promiscuity!!!
Why all these references?The thing is,these people were ordinary individuals before they became a'name' and that's what puts their lives out there for anyone to write trash about...Yeah,I know you can sue for defamation of character or libel'..But for how long and for how much?Because of these thoughts,I usually fear for becoming 'popular' even from doing the right things likebeing a Journalist writing about facts and things that reallyaffect people's lives....(not rumours or gossips).I enjoy my privacy and would decide who and who I would rather share my 'private life' with.The way journalists dig for information is almost the same as that of a private Investigator....Anyway...I've always had these thoughts and just wnted to get it out there...

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