by John Ruskin.I had a different subject in my mind when I logged in.The very fist thing I saw was this quote and I reckon it's relevant,especially because I can relate with it.
'Skill' or pluralised 'skills',combined with love,passion,dedication and commitment,will give you satisfaction.I know it will for me!I am not claiming to be the most talented lady around here,but I sure can do more than be a wife mother and a prospective graduate of Communication Science.Please don't get me wrong.There is absolutely nothing wrong in being a full time mom and housewife or homemaker as the English would prefer to call it.Some women actually derive immense joy and satisfaction in being a stay-at-home mom,staying with their kids all day,just being a mom.There's a great reward in wanting to spend quality time with your kids and even being their first teacher is a very rewarding gesture.My faith,Islam encourages that women actually do that.There're tons of women out there who have succeeded in pursuing academics and have graduated with even Masters,some PhD and what have you.They may end up not dwelling into the league of career women,white collar jobs or even professionals;in their respective fields.
However,there are some who would not be fulfilled not being able to explore their talents and do more than parental or marital obligations.Some of us do not wish to be'career women',but still want to play a major role in the lives of our loved ones.We want to,as they say"have it all".That brings me to another issue entirely.Permit me to divert a little.I do not have the definition for that phrase,but I can translate it in terms applicable to me.
My personal definition for that would be balancing between all the roles I play first and foremost as a Muslim woman,a wife,a mother and the rest of extended-family ties.I believe the onus is on each and everyone to decide what comes first in their life.It's a case of different strokes for different folks.As my people would say,"one man's meat is another man's poison".Family may not be in some people's priority list. Some women have even attested to being 'vilified' by motherhood,whatever that means!Anyway,what am driving at is that,I am waiting patiently until the day I would be able to explore and not 'explode ';everything I've got to give.When all the hidden skills and talents will be manifested.I am not comfortable doing this routine.And I hate to say that,documenting these unsatisfied thoughts will make my kids think otherwise when they're all grown up some day,if God wills.I don't want my kids to get a hold of my journals or diaries and then think to themselves,"mom must be a really miserable woman' (if there isn't a different word for that state of mind by then.Technology can be a really powerful tool,you know)!
As little as they are,we (their dad and I) can already see the different personalities that they both display.I can't imagine not helping them develop to their full potentials.They need a lot of support and encouragement,in the right direction.God help me with that!My son's a lot like me,and his sister's a fierce and vocal one'with the kind of confidence I have never seen in a three-year old.Trust me,am not exergerating on that one.It's quite evident.And she sure needs a close monitoring so she doesn't become a defiant or a rebel.
If mothers guard their children like Hawk,then that's exactly what am going to keep doing.I can't let these kids grow up thinking that they can't achieve difficult tasks or break barriers and overcome obstacles.I wouldn't just sit back and watch anyone kill their self-esteem.
There are things I know now and wish I had known earlier.There are so many misconceptions and misunderstandings about religion,responsibilities and duties.There are assumptions and wrong conclusions about what a woman should do and what she ought not do because she's a woman.Honestly,sometimes,I think all the books written,the seminars,conferences,workshops and lectures on 'Gender equality' aren't as effective as they should be.Otherwise,why do some women openly go into relationships with their eyes closed and their hears blocked?They make think with their minds and not heads!I do not think there's anything that could prepare women for life than the lessons taught from childhood,once they can differentiate between right and wrong.Of course life is a journey that no one can foretell because,knowledge of the future lies only with our Creator.It still doesn't suffice to say that the old jinx of women being "blindly submissive shouldn't be broken".Every stage and phase of our lives has its obligations,expectations and roles.It's like being an actor and playing different roles each time in different movies.
'Life is a teacher.The more you live,the more you learn'!I have a philosophy about learning from people's experiences and I always feel privileged when people confide in me.I share my tales too and hope they'd learn a thing or too.I do not like imposing my ideas on people,but I hate to see the people I care about hurt....
To be continued!