AM I STILL IDLE?
I remember clearly how I repeatedly kept saying “I had a life to return to” (I still do) and that “I just needed to get out of that place (
that is). I actually wasn’t desperate. But I was more disturbed about the fact that remaining in Nigeria was costing us much more than we had bargained for. Lagos
The first couple of weeks I must admit were almost unbearable. After the fourth week, I refused to be frustrated and accepted the situation as my’fate’.What else could I have possibly done? The situation got worrisome when people (families and friends) assumed we had left only to learn we were still around. I think I probably would have handled it better, were it not for those comments.
Albright’s this last trip wasn’t “holiday” as planned. It was an eventful one that’s left me with an experience of a lifetime...if you may. From the beginning till the end of the entire ordeal, there were lessons I was meant to learn, experiences I had been destined to pass through, the people I had to meet by fate and the impact or impression I was made to leave behind. Inspite of everything, It took exactly two months from arrival for my passport to be stamped. The dates were exact. Everything surrounding my experience was just meant to be. And no matter what I had done or had planned to do, it would have still not hastened the process. The efforts didn’t ease it or expedite it either. And that’s why God knows best.
And now, if not for the cold, I would have been complaining of boredom. It’s almost beginning to feel like
all over again. The difference so far ahs been less worry’ bout how much we’d be expending and how long it’d take to get our visas. But it has been serenely peaceful and noiseless, to a very large extent. I haven’t heard the noise from generator sets, no bakers talking in the midnight like it was noon, no careless chattering with no regard for people who just want to have some quietness and God, no more carrying buckets of water back’n’forth the compound. Lagos
At first, I really didn’t feel it and didn’t complain. What gave me that calmness was knowing we were going to be around for a short while.Afterall,I was born and bred in this same country.That,was my birth country. The washing didn’t feel awkward or stressful at first also. I had always enjoyed washing. I only started noticing the blisters on my fingers after my first heavy wash (which was a couple of weeks after we arrived). I knew it wasn’t going to be easy henceforth.
Now, I feel like I have an” unfinished businesses” back home. I feel like I had more opportunities to explore and spread my wings than I do her (I had that feeling all the time I’ve been here). I later felt that, perhaps; if I became more open-minded, I would adjust and see that things are not really as bad as I deemed it to be. I felt that I could do more and be more back home, than here.
I was privileged to see some of my brethren, old school and classmates. I visited a few friends amidst the serial disappointments from the SA High Commission.Oh!and that reminds me about that “article” I had bragged so much about writing…It will happen. I just need to get my ‘mood’ right. I was already beginning to feel a little compassion for them after the seemingly appeared to be concerned’ bout my health on arrival.Yeah!my temperature had risen to 38.5 degrees. I had been feeling little under the weather days earlier but downplayed it, in my usual manner. I couldn’t afford to fall sick. I would be travelling in the company of my daughter who would require my assistance in everything. But no matter how hard I tried to downplay it, I couldn’t cheat nature. I was feeling weak, sickly and almost worn out. The consequence of mental,physical,financial and emotional stress was finally evident. The whole ordeal had taken a toll on my health.Well,I was still able to pull myself together for as long as it took us to fly down to OR Tambo International Airport in
. It was a good thing the new device for scanning picked up on my temperature. I don’t know how sickly I was at the time and would have thought it was just fatigue. But since I knew we didn’t evade mosquitoes, I had bought anti-malaria drugs for myself and my little girl. Johannesburg
I was indoors for three days without stepping outside the door before I went to the Guest House (it’s just across the road incase you’re wondering how far it is from here). It’s already Thursday night and there’s no possibility of going anywhere until weekend. Am not even sure about that yet, am expecting a visitor.
So until then, I think I’ll just wrap this up for tonght.Am kindof feeling tired.