God, I don’t want to leave this world without fulfilling the mission you have in store for me. I’m so tired of saying I want to do something, I wished that I had the opportunity to do more and be more, I wished that things were different, that I want to be something big…I’m so tired and am almost losing hope. What would it take to move from where I am, to where I want to be? What would it take to really be relevant and part of something historical? I have tried to be open-minded and unbiased in my thoughts and assumptions. But it seems I won’t be able to do much where am at now. It’s limited my chances and choices. It hasn’t given me that room to explore more options and just do what I really want to do and be. It’s easy for one to be judged wrongly, especially if all you do is “talk about” what you wish to do, without an action to walk the talk.
The 2010 CNN Heroes really inspired me and reminded me that I can still do something memorable. That perhaps, I shouldn’t be in a hurry to fulfill this calling. The nominees were much older and am wondering if that’s what am supposed to do: nurture the thoughts now and wait for the future to execute them. Will I live long enough to do something for humanity? Will my voice be heard before I answer the call of my Creator? Will that opportunity come from here (South Africa) ?Will that opportunity ever prevail itself? Am I asking for too much? Should I start to learn their languages because I want it to ease my campaign against crime violence to women and children? Where should I go? How do I get to that place that I really want to be, to be part of something monumental for humanity?
I can start by writing about it, and not just nurturing the thoughts…I shall start with prayers that God see me through, and make my words a source of relief and consolation for everyone who needs it…My fate is in your hands my Lord. Please see me through, show me the way and lead me there, by Your Grace.