Friday, December 30, 2011

REFLECTIONS: Don’t let them fool you…not another Bob Marley lyrics!

REFLECTIONS: Don’t let them fool you…not another Bob Marley lyrics!

Don’t let them fool you…not another Bob Marley lyrics!

If you have ever bothered to check my Facebook profile, you would have known by now (assuming you didn’t before that is) that I am a MUSLIM, and proudly so too! Let me quickly give you a hint about the family background of people from southern Nigeria. It is such that, you’re either born into a Muslim family with some cousins, aunts, nephews, nieces, neighbours, friends or even parents, yes, even parents, both or either, practicing a different faith. So it’s no surprise neither is it strange to have someone like me fall into that class. Although, both my parents are of same faith, but my step-mom is not, a Ghanaian by nationality and neither are some of my cousins with whom I share a very close bond. Do not even get me started on school mates, neighbours, friends and people I have come to know from our line of business and have shared close relations with. I happen to have attended one of the Missionary established schools in Lagos state. Although not a direct one, but an extension of a missionary school dated back to the 18th century and owned by the Baptists. I was born in the north, but bred in Lagos state. Lagos is majorly the multi-cultural state in Nigeria, before any other, being a cosmopolitan city. It is very unlikely that you’ll find a community consisting of a ‘single’ faith- it is usually a mixture of Christianity and Islam, albeit one dominant over the other. And for this reason, we have cohabited by choice and sometimes by circumstance for as long as history can relate.
It would be an incomplete history and a shy away from the truth if I omit the fact that, we’ve had several unrests, chaos and demonstrations that has led to the loss of lives as a result of cultural/religious clashes in Lagos state. It wasn’t an absolute state of harmony, but I tell you it hasn’t recorded sordid ordeals or sheer cruelty and inhumane attacks on innocent lives; that has formed the pattern of the northern Nigeria. However, there is a huge difference that the public may be blinded from in order to misguide and misinform them---“The state of anarchy as I refer to the lawlessness in some part of Northern Nigeria, were not “religiously” motivated crimes, but with a huge “Political” backing and instigation. I tell you, I have studied Politics before, but I am no fan of that subject. It has just been something I cannot wish away, because I am interested in knowing what goes on around me. So am not going into politics, besides it’s a very boring subject for some.
The AIM of the recent attacks of Christians by the so-called Boko Haram (translates thus: Education is forbidden-how deluded and ironic for those who claim to understand Islam, which on the contrary preaches the compulsory acquisition of knowledge from cradle to grave!), is politically motivated and its sole aim is to make Nigeria ungovernable.., It isn’t about Muslims and Christians hating each other that much and wanting to eliminate one another. But religion has always been a sensitive subject and what better way to achieve their dubious devilish plans by playing on sentiments? Even clashes that should be referred to as “ethnic” would be labeled “Christians against Muslims” as it seems to get them results faster. My fellow Nigerians, I beg of you with everything you hold dear, do not let these ruthless politicians use you as tools to achieve their aims. By “hating” each other, we are letting them win this battle. We cannot and should not let them turn us against each other. We cannot suddenly become foes of families, friends, course mates, classmates, neighbours, business associates, I mean you just name it; with whom you have shared close-knit, outings, celebrations, marital ties, food (which was never poisoned), anything and everything you can think of. People who have not hurt you in the name of religion, betrayed your trust in the name of religion, stabbed you in the back in the name of Islam, harm you in the name of Islam, people whom you have known and have even referred to as ‘Close friends’ or ‘families’ before now. If we allow that to happen, then we have been defeated and have let these heartless and selfish politicians achieve their aim. We are not like them, so please, do not “think” or    “act “ like them”!The Muslims are not your enemies, corrupt, dubious, heartless, selfish, greedy Ungodly politicians are. Don’t let them fool you…

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Anxiety and uncertainty are buddies now!

I was anxious to get my results, but uncertainty has killed that. I think I graded my scores before the results were released and now,I've given up on expecting a miracle...the deed has already been done.

Holidays are here again,at least a long one this time around. I almost can't believe these kids have got up to four weeks to be home (or be away). The system needs to change, it's too strainous by default and I wonder if they want these learners to learn anything besides what goes on in the classroom,in life.I don't like the SA educational system,not in the least.And I will always compare it with what's operational back home. I see no reason why one,two,three or even a fifth grader needs to learn by being in school all through the year.Yes,you'read' me right,"All through the year".Holidays always fall between two consecutive months.It's just crazy and I wonder why parents aren't complaining.I hope we'll be able to make the best use of this holiday as a family, God help us.

I may be driving sooner than expected....No,I haven't got a driver's license yet,but I may be getting a car first.Actually,not me,hubby would get me a car because we both need it.It'd be a huge relief for him and I'm probably going to be driving more than I would be walking!God help me not to get two times bigger!Okay,now that am already aware that could happen,then I'd prevent it from happening by ensuring I become regular with my skipping daily...perhaps,with a few aerobics too.

So,I haven't even been writing,no poems,no journals and no blog updates (until now). My head was filled with so much thoughts I considered an 'audio journal'. As you can tell,I didn't go through with it..eyes rolling now!There's just something about this place that hasn't been uplifting...or maybe am just being plain lazy.But hey,wait a minute,I haven't been completely lazy.I have been sewing again,more like amending,adjusting actually.I've also been designing my pairs of jeans....So,besides not writing,I'm doing other things.Oh!lest I forget,I have also been doing a lot of washing,dishes and laundry.So much so that it made me realise I need some supplements as my nails have suffered for that extensive washing.
It's going to be a long weekend,it's a public holiday tomorrow.I mean,back home,I would have made a valuable use of that time outdoors. But here---nowhere to go!It may as well end up being a dry,drab,sloppy,boring and tiring weekend...or not!I will let you know how that goes.Peace out!

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

got my laptop fixed today,at long last!

It's been eight torturous months of my laptop not being my 'lap top'. It was about time and am grateful hubby offered to get it fixed for me.I almost forgot what it feels like using this laptop.
Well exams're very much over and all result should,as announced be released by the 12th of this month, which is less than a week away. I need to be at the Unisa service centre to sort out my mixed-up finance.Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to get my results and that also means "no registration"...
Oh!By the way, did I mention that am looking forward to this holiday even though I've got no plans?Well,it just so happens that we may not go on that road trip afterall.And as usual,I do not want to set up myself for disappointment...I guess we'd just have to wait and see then.Am sleepy,but needed to do this now as am sleepy...
Sweet dreams!

Friday, October 21, 2011


Don’t you just get pissed when people fail to do their jobs? Well I do. I also get furious when people argue ignorantly. I’ve had to deal with such situations, almost concurrently. But am keeping my cool, I can’t afford to lose it!
I wrote my first of five exams yesterday, and I must say it wasn’t one of my best . Poor preparations has been over my shoulders since the commencement of this semester. It’s been utterly impossible to ignore the distractions---they were in my face, when I breathe, when I sleep, wake, everytime, all the time. Now I’m not going to whine, but I must be blunt and objective, I need more than just flipping through the pages of the textbooks to make this examination through. I need proper studying, focus, comprehension and assimilation. Yesterday was a trial and it confirmed my anxiety as far as this examination’s concerned. Writing the exam in this manner isn’t my style, the circumstance has resulted to me browsing through to do assignments  and it has stretched further into the exam period. God help me!
As much as I usually like to get things done in a very organized manner, plan ahead and prepare fully, it doesn’t always happen that way, e.g. what I stated above. I’ve been trying to get a committee in order to relieve myself of the huge expectations of my reunion group on Facebook. I have eventually succeeded in getting a number of people I want to ‘entrust’ with the planning, some days ago. I was able to make a draft of what I referred to as ‘guidelines’ and sent a mail to the head of the committee. But that’s only the beginning, there’s still so much to be done. I pray we make it through to the luncheon, God on our side!
At the homefront, it’s equally been hectic, with hubby being abroad and me having to shoulder some of his duties, it’s not being a walk in the park. Well, am still standing, so I can only pray and hope that it gets better. I can’t even express my ‘fears’ at this point and avenue now. It would sound pessimistic and negative. Now we don’t want that…Positive attitude is what we need. Optimism is the key word! So, I better get started!
Have a lovely day!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

It’s been a really long while and I thought I could beat the distractions and disruptions. Well, I hope I would this time around. I may just end up making this one of my many ‘drafts’ that never gets published---I hope not!
A lot has happened since last I updated my blog, I don’t even know where to start.
Alright, last month was my driver’s learner and I flunked it…don’t feel sorry for me; am no longer bothered about it. Yes, I was the day I wrote the exams, maybe I failed out of negligence and over-confidence. Anyway, it’s out of my way now, and I can move on to something else for now; like my studies for instance. Now that’s a serious subject that’d probably take more space in this blog than anything else I want to write about. Since I registered with the university of south Africa, this year’s been the most hectic, and I thought my first year was. But there’s a progression- my grades are higher now than they were during the first semester in my first year. So am grateful for that. I’m getting the feedback for my assignments back and it’s ranged from credit to distinction. Again, am grateful for that. But it didn’t happen without a lot of worrying, anxiety, apprehension, disruption, unlimited and unending distractions, uncertainties, doubts, hopes, wishes, prayers; I mean what not!
We held a training last month and the delegates were the first bath of three. The second batch we just concluded theirs in Dubai last weekend. It afforded us a privilege of seeing the Gulf for the very first time. And boy, I tell you, it was a sight to behold. I was just recounting the trip to my bossom friend some minutes ago. And let me also mention here that, when next we plan to travel that side of the world, the weather would be my first consideration and am seriously hoping it wouldn’t be a ‘working vacation’ like this past one. We needed more time to move around and travel to Abu Dhabi and some other places. I’ve never seen a more beautiful city. Okay, maybe probably because I didn’t get to travel much while in the UK, but the elegance of Dubai was no overstatement. The magnificence of their airport made our pride of Africa-the O R Tambo international airport here in Johannesburg south Africa looked like a kitchen in a main building. It was a sight to behold. I couldn’t help but be awed by the level of technology and the fuel was cheap in comparison to SA that is. That’s no surprise…they have that in abundance. Okay< it’s almost about time to pack and round up for the day. So I better post this right away before I’m interrupted, again!

Thursday, July 7, 2011


REFLECTIONS: A plea...: "They make me feel like am whining. I look around and when I see my fellow country people, seemingly comfortable and almost uncaring or un..."

A plea...

They make me feel like am whining. I look around and when I see my fellow country people, seemingly comfortable and almost uncaring or undisturbed; I often wonder if am the only person whining about missing home so much. But apparently, am not alone in that  thought. I have been in conversations with a few ladies and they also seem to share my feelings. Infact, not just  fellow Nigerians, but a colleague here at the office and of different national. But what seem bother me is how much others in Diaspora have completely lost touch with their roots and seem to be compensated by the comfort of the West. I strongly believe home is home, no matter the comfort. One thing is certain though, the developing nations have lost some of the best of their brains to the developed nations. An incontestable fact as it were. Right here where I am and from my angle of knowledge, there are hundreds of professionals both in the health and the educational sector, who could have contributed to the betterment of  our home country. But who could blame them? Their homecountry has got less to offer, monetary and infrastructure-wise. But here’s my wish, that no matter how long these talented men and women stay abroad, they do not lose sight of reality-That our country in as much as it is our ’Root’, remains dear to their hearts and they think  of returning home some day.
The deeds of our leaders past, have been detrimental rather than benefit the country’s growth and development.  This does not suffice to say we should keep playing the ‘blame game’. There should be more action and less talk. Now , I know it’s easier to point fingers , but that’s my focus , always has been. No doubt, the developed countries have got so much to offer in terms of personal growth and development. But nothing comes without its price. The price of enjoying the benefits abroad is- estranged ties with your families and friends at large. My saying is that-“Can you emigrate every single member of your extended families abroad”? If that were possible, then one could easily discard the thought of being home for any reason. However, that thought is far from reality. So, except for those that have lost ties with families or had none at all to begin with, there will always be that missing piece, that feeling that you left something valuable somewhere, the thought that, “I do not completely belong here”. You may call abroad home, one can have more than one home. My plea is that, we just never forget our roots, however how long we enjoy the comfort abroad-“There is no place like home and “Home is where the heart is”!

Friday, June 24, 2011

This inspired me today and I know you can pick something positive from it too!

IT'S A MATTER OF CHOICE-A short story about positive attitude!Enjoy and be inspired!
Jerry is the manager of a restaurant. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would always reply, "If I were any better, I'd be twins!"
Many of the waiters at his restaurant quit their jobs when he changed jobs, so they could follow him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was always there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, "I don't get it! No one can be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"
Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, I have two choices today. I can choose to be in a good mood or I can choose to be in a bad mood. I always choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I always choose to learn from it."
"But that's not always easy," I protested.
"Yes it is," Jerry said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or a bad mood. It's your choice how you live your life."
Several years later, I heard that Jerry left the back door of his restaurant open one morning, and was robbed by three armed men. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found quickly and rushed to the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body.
I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Want to see my scars?"
I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. "The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied. "Then after they shot me, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or choose to die. I chose to live."
"Weren't you scared?" I asked.
Jerry continued, "The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the Emergency Room, and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'He's a dead man.' I knew I needed to take action."
"Well there was a big nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything." 'Yes,' I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Bullets!'
Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Please operate on me as if I am alive, not dead'."
Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day you have the choice to either enjoy life or to hate it.
The only thing that is truly yours that no one can control or take from you is your attitude, so that if you take care of that, everything else in life becomes much easier.

Monday, June 20, 2011

This past weekend...

I knew it was going to be a hectic weekend. But I was determined to go through with my driving lessons come what may. I had got used to ,making excuses of doing chores(which never really ends anyway).And since hubby’s away on a trip, I figured this was the right time to commence, afterall, the person that’s offered to show me the ropes volunteered and I am not paying a dime (Learners’ Examination isn’t free for your information). Finally, amidst the office’s lack of activity, while resolving issues with disgruntled clients, I decided to go to the Traffic and Licensing Office on Tuesday-I broke the jinx. I had my eye test (I think I partially flunked that! Rolling my eyes now! Never mind). And my learners’ Examination is scheduled for 29th of August. Yes, another date, but now I know better. I shall not repeat my mistake, God help me. And am somewhat looking forward to writing the exams. I believe am ready. All I need do before the date is revise, unlike before where everything seemed so confusing and didn’t really make any sense. Having taken driving lessons on Saturday, it even made more sense. What’s been making so much sense and becoming more meaningful are the Road Signs. My first preparation taught me a lot on that. And knowing the various motor parts has been of immense help. They would seem so ordinary to an experienced driver, but for a novice like myself that’s still learning to balance between the Brake Pedals and the Clutch it feels like teaching a child to eat decently using a cutlery than just clearing the dish on ten fingers. I can’t say I have got the confidence to see me through to the ‘expert’ stage at this moment. I’m going to just take it slowly and one step at a time, God help me! I was composed and not as nervous as probably expected. So, I think I’m going to end up surprising myself (that’s because am doubting my ability to drive a Car)…Time will tell, God spare our lives.
The thing about motherhood is that, as cliched as it sounds, it comes naturally. Some things happen that you would not need a guide for, or even query anyone about. Child upbringing is dynamic and you will find that, what works for you might turn out to be a taboo for someone else, especially where there are different cultural backgrounds. Before now, I have been treating my kids like” the kids that they are” and I never really though that I could hold a conversation with either of them. I have been wrong! Recently, my five-year old daughter has made me see clearer and proved me wrong. I wouldn’t mince words in saying that, the new school she commenced in January further reaffirmed her self esteem and boosted her confidence (she’s never lacked in that department though). Her brother on the other hand is the shy one, not reserved, just shy. He sometimes gets moody, an habit am not condoning because he wasn’t that way three years back. He’s very warm, very affectionate and fun to be around. My emphasis on him growing wrinkles before he grows old, if he continues to frown has been working wonders            (I mean that by the way). He’s regaining his confidence back and I keep reminding him that he used to be a very happy and loving toddler…He then asks more of what he did as a toddler; imagine that!
Since he likens himself to ‘Spiderman’, as a Super-Hero, I try not to indulge him by reminding him that, it’s just T.V and that it’s not real. He’s getting it now. But on Saturday evening, he wasn’t doing his stunts when he got hurt. It was an innocent accident, caused by his sister, his very restless, energetic and hyperactive baby sister. I had to call the Ambulance Service because I knew it was beyond me. He had cuts on his three middle fingers, the left hand thankfully. But the middle finger had a deep cut and that was the reason for the ambulance, I didn’t need a doctor to tell me would need a stitch. Everything happened so fast and so unexpected because they had been fine the entire day and I never foresaw that coming. There’s always ‘something’ to be grateful for, if only you’d look closer. So I was grateful that his fingers were still intact and that it was his left hand, since he’s right-handed. I was weary of sending him off to school today but he’s too active to be restricted. I know my words would still ring a bell in his ears since they were announced in his own interest. I cannot imagine him playing as rough as he’s used to, without getting the sore fingers bleeding again…Kids will be kids!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011


Things happen that shapes us and give us a new outlook on life. My Uncle’s death was another lesson for me. For obvious reasons, haven’t been able to picture him as weak as he had been in the last few years his sickness started. He was so full of energy, a workaholic, whom to me, also suffered from insomnia. I believe he didn’t sleep adequately and I often wondered how someone could live an almost isolated lifestyle, reclusive, as my Uncle did. To me, I actually thought someone of his unusual nature would be a ‘hermit’, no family, no association with anything social gathering and all. But no, my Uncle got married, had children, worked (he was an Architect), he was a member of the Lagos Country Club, he attended the Mass at his Catholic Church and even went shopping for food items and his needs. I can recall his smile as I type now. One would be surprised he had a smile on his unusual serious-looking face; an expression that he had become associated with, more than a smile or a “laughter”. But he laughed too, for those of us who were privileged to be close to him and some other, for different purposes. There was something about him that couldn’t be given away-his thoughts. You would never be able to guess what was going through his mind. I must tell you at this juncture that, his sense of responsibility and impeccability had a very positive role to play in his life. He was a perfectionist’, he was highly organized (a little of the European touch here), his brilliant mind would want you to know more than you already did, if you were anywhere around him. You may be subjected to scrutiny, depending on your academic qualification. He would engage you in a conversation to test your knowledge on the subject or see where your intellectual capacity would fail you. Once he’s able to figure out the limit of your ability, he’d select carefully the subject matter to discuss with you in the future. You would feel intimidated if he began to explain something you are expected to know, which unfortunately you happen to be ignorant of. The bottomline is, you’d be pushed to improve yourself either working with/for him , or if you’re going to find yourself in a conversation with him. Outsiders I believe related with him better than we his relations. I think a lot of us would easily see him as ‘secluded’ and just leave him to his presumably sadistic life, than try to figure out if there was more to him than the serious look on his face, his dissociation and detachment from almost everyone and everything around him. You’d be surprised how much he notices and observes, when he questions you. I never underestimate his sense of observation, which is usually being misconceived by those judging him from a distance.
Since the inception of his ailment,  I had spoken with him on the phone a few times. The tone of his voice did not give his ill health away, as I held a conversation with him, and I heard him as loud and clear as years back when I last saw him. Do not get me wrong, I wasn’t having a sweet vacation while I used to go assist with house chores those years as a teenager. But I did learn a thing or two from him. When ever I find myself doing those activities, I usually remember him. I had my own comic version of the experiences I had going to his place over the weekends and on holidays. It wasn’t your “typical” holiday. There was no one to play with, I hardly saw anyone else, except I get sent on errands. Looking back now, I honestly felt like I was being held against my will and my hands were tied that I couldn’t hesitate. It was like an ‘open cell’-where I would eat, answer to call of nature, do chores, but all behind the fences, seeing no one else but only hearing voices. I would long to be sent on errand, in order that I could get to see and be reminded that, there was another life behind those walls, that secured the house from unwanted visitors and buglers. I had a companion, a dog named ‘Bembo’. I wonder if its still alive now. I would chase the Dog out of my room (the guest room downstairs where I stayed in the Duplex) without success. It seemed to understand I felt lonely, and needed a living thing (besides the plants, that is). I would wake up early in the morning and once I leave the room, I don’t usually get back indie until later at night (except if I had to iron). On weekends when Uncle would leave for Church, I would be glad he was leaving because it meant my anxiety would subside. I was good at cleaning, but I fidgeted because I never know what am going to do next, that would make Uncle scold or query me. Madam was easier to deal with, she would send me on errands countless times, but I had no problem running her errands. She wasn’t as difficult to please like my ‘perfectionist’ Uncle. I often imagined how she was also able to live the life that was thrown at her, not by choice; but by circumstance. Fate had it all planned out for her before she came to Nigeria with my Uncle. She would have an accident in her home, that would leave her with a lifetime disability. She would often recount to me,  how optimistic she was in the beginning and how that turned into frustration after unsuccessful attempts to get an employment. She said she was often refused for being ‘over-qualified’ (being a White lady and having an International Masters Degree qualification in her field). This I believed coupled with her unfortunate incident resulted to her being a full time home-keeper, eventually. 
What I know and have taken away from my Uncle's demise is not to condemn anyone completely. I just do not believe anyone would come to this world and make no impact whatsoever in someone's life. It could be the midwife that delivered the child, the nurses, the relations, playmates, neighbours, schoolmates, colleagues at work,acquaintances, anyone, anybody. At some point in that child's life, before he or she becomes a full grown man or woman, someone must have had something good to say about the child.Each person has left an impression good or bad, even if it survived for a few minutes or hours on earth, that's a statistic and if someone witnessed it, then it's been recorded, offhand or written; and that's an impression!

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

And the man died...

I have been struggling with timing, I have so much so that, I sometimes wish I could add more to the twenty-four hours as it seems never to be enough. I have been constantly reminded why, I wouldn’t want the kind of job that would take me away from doing some other things I love, like writing for instance (in this case “Typing”; which I happen to enjoy as well). The major thing I know is stalling my Blog update is, the fact that, I have grown somewhat lazier in writing. These days, I often wonder if I can still write legibly (eyes rolling)! Hmm, maybe am being a little exaggerative there, of cause my handwriting’s still legible.
I only have to remind myself that am writing something serious in order to write better than my self-devised wobbly handwriting.
Now to serious matters. I lost an Uncle last Friday. No matter how old our loved ones grow, we still want them around for as long as possible. And it is in this spirit that I mourn the late Architect Remigius Adekoya-Ajayi. I had seen it coming. His sickness had been serious so much so that, I had procrastinated calling him. His health had failed drastically, so it happened finally. I won’t be home for the burial rites, just like I wasn’t when my granny passed away. Death, is the debt we owe life, and it is a debt that is paid, willingly or not. 
And if change is the only permanent thing in life, death is the first “unchanging” thing that is inevitable. A harsh reality, an unfriendly reminder, that this life’s a journey, that must be completed at some point. Death, is a cycle of life, that must be completed…There’s a time to be born, and there’s a time to die!
Adieu Uncle, Architect Remigius Remilekun Adekoya-Ajayi!
There’s a comic in my experience, with my late Uncle,but I will save it for another day,
God spare my life. For now, this is just paying a condolence to his demise.