Sunday, November 8, 2009

Sleeping late by choice...

My sleep pattern had changed for better until recently.I shouldn't have to ask myself why that is so.I know what caffeinated tea does to my system.Am beginning to think my body's counter-acting on that.I could stay up as late as 1 or 2 a.m if I had cup of tea even early in the morning.These days,I yawn till I give in and off I go to bed.Am no longer 16 and cannot afford to be up too late.Besides,I need to be up early to observe my prayers.
Yesterday,we had to take our son to see a Physician because he woke up with swollen eyes..(they weren't pink though).I knew it must be some infection and I was quick to correct clueless daddy that we ain't self-medicating when he suggested an eye drop.No arguments,thank God!We just had to make his sister understand that she'd be going to school alone.The maturity with which she handled it really amazed us and we just couln't be more impressed with our three and half year old smartie!That one?She's too clever for her age and has always acted older than she is.We were back on time but hubby insisted Abdul stays home to"relax".But my son wouldn't hear of it,so I had to practically baby-sit him.He's not one to observe siesta willingly except out of complete boredom (like being restricted or confined).Between doing laundry and giving him some exercise to keep him mentally alert (on his insistence of course),there was  no time to finish the notes I was making on public administration.Just last week,the 9th of November seemed far away but now,am less than 48 hours to the exam.I am not one to underestimate things or people.And this module's definately one of those.I think I've drafted enough notes and do not want to overstretch my brain.I don't want to overstuff it in the name of scoring high.So God willing by tomorrow,I will just go through the notes thouroughly and ensure I digest the points.Then I can settled down to read the Play for my Theory of Literature.I have learnt from experience this first level and would plan myself better for the second level,God on my side.I will choose wisely this time around and not burden myself with modules I know nothing about.Once bitten,many times shy!

I got a phone call from someone I regard as an older sister and a family friend yesterday about something very disturbing.But that was even before the headache started.I usually know why I get headaches when I do,but I couldn't figure out the cause yesterday.I took panado and wasn't relieved still until hours after.I think I probably needed a good sleep as I felt much better when I woke up this morning.
So the news I got gave me mixed feelings.For one,this friend was very upset and felt betrayed..(am sorry I'm not going into details).It involved her,me and maybe a whole lot of people I do not even know.It was more of a case of 'betrayal of trust' and I do not take lightly to that.I keep my distance when I fall victim to distrust.But in this case,am supposed to feel violated,betrayed,disappointed,vengeful,saddened and maybe even furious.I wouldn't be over-reacting or over-stating the facts with these expressions.But I've ended up feeling almost indifferent than hurt.I feel sorry for the perpetrator more than I do myself or other victims.It's not that I've suddenly developed a thick skin or become emotionally stronger (whatever that is),but I just feel that way.A part of me wants to be disappointed and feel deeply hurt and betrayed.But the other part of me tells me I can do better than succumb to these feelings.I can put it aside if not pass me and focus on what's most important (like finding a primary school for our son on time ).Under normal circumstance,this would put a strain on our relationship (the offender and I),but I am not going to let that happen.Maybe I will demand some explanations or an apology to completely let it it blow over,I cannot tell for now.But what I however do know is that this person's already paying for the act.
No matter what people do or say,I won't let their weakness confuse me that everyone's bad and has bad intentions.I cannot dismiss friendship on the account that a trusted friend betrayed me.I will not say trust no one because that'd be a blanket judgement.I would only say trust with caution and limits!I have consciously been trying to figure out what words to describe my feelings since I got this news,but didn't succeed.It's no use trying so hard.I had better let it rest for now so I don't get migraine over it.I've still got exams ahead of me.And oh!By the way,am so looking forward to finishing the exams because I've been stalling some of the things I want to do (by that I mean"dying to do").I'd like to knit a head net and maybe play around with some fabrics to refresh my memory on the little sewing lessons I got five years ago.
I think I better grab something to munch and go to bed.It may be the weekend but the kids don't make it any diferent from week days..they wake up hungry most of the time.
It's  late,super late...signing out!!!Good morning!             

No comments:

Post a Comment