Lessons of Life!!!
Authubillah Minnashaytoni Rajeem
(meaning:I seek refuge from the accursed devil..I begin in the name of Allah the Beneficent,the Merciful)
The things we take for granted
I read something and it really got me thinking.Of course these are thoughts that have always crossed my mind and all I do is just toss it round my head with no answers.
I can be referred to as being sensitive&hence might be easily offended.But I put my sensitiveness to use by minding my utterances,watching what I say&do.Being mindful of others&try not to cross their path.But of course we're only humans and that is why 'forgiveness' is one of the attributes of Allah.Still,the best would be to avoid doing the wrong things all the time,human or not.
I am not really comfortable with 'impulsive people' because they don't think,they just act.I know they can be a life saver sometimes rescuing someone from danger by acting so fast and quick.But they are more of a disaster than helper.Sorry to say!!!These kind of people make mistakes a lot,say regretful things,act insensitively and step on toes.Such people make unfulfilled promises because they always run faster than their legs can take them,bite more than they can chew and do not cut their clothes according to their cloth.I have seen these attitudes over time in some people.
The things we take for granted could range from material possessions to kinship ties or lifestyle.I had a friend in High School who decided to bear grudges with me because I was mingling with some'lower students' according to her because she was from a privileged home and was my very dear friend too at the time.I was someone who was taught of as a'no-one' too at a point in my life.And to do that to anyone,irrespective of their academic prowess or lack of it,would be rather hypocritical.I mean,why must we always think of'taking' and not giving?Afterall,Rasulullah (s.a.w) said the upper hand is better than the lower hand.So,I believe the brilliant should also help the struggling students to get along.And not restrict their interaction to the elites, upper class,bookworms alone.I think that is rather selfish.
I just blended between the rich and the one from my calibre.I maintained a balance between the 'knowledgeables' and the 'ignorants'.I do not look down on anybody,yet try to keep my head up high.I have been on that road before and know exactly what it feels like.
Am so sensitive I try not to brag about my own blessings in the presence of someone craving for such.Apparently,it doesn't really appear to some people that,when you want to talk about the favours God has bestowed on you,you should be modest about it.I wasn't really good at blowing my trumpet until I had issues with self-esteem and was instructed to use that method in reshapening my self image.
I have been privileged to mix,live,interact,mingle&associate with some people who do not take cognizance of something as intricate as'pride'.Didn't we read that "Pride" is the Cloak of Allah?
Some people just get carried away&go on&on about how blessed they are,forgetting that what the person next to them needs is not the talk about how good their life is,but that,they too have seen worse times&that things will get better with time.A reassurance sort of.
I've not really been the type that could fully financially assist people but I do try to give admonitions based on my life experiences&that and others around me.It is for the same reason that I always tell my unmarried friends (Muslims&non-Muslims) that,there's more than meets the eye.And that they should be careful what they wish for.That is somewhat proverbial because I do not go into details about my marital affairs with every single person.However,I do share my birth stories and childhood experiences with anyone who cares to listen and feel they could learn one or two lessons.
I have listened to sisters go on about how wonderful their husbands are,how lucky they are to have have them right in the presence of a sister who is still seeking a partner or worst still,one with a marital crisis.The least one could do is probably say" insha Allahu(if God wills) my dear sister,you will also smile again because the road was rocky for me too".Rasulullah (Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) has taught us the etiquettes of giving advise.taught us modesty and the way to behave as Muslims.Some people even use sarcasm when they can't be confrontational about their thoughts.Some go as far as confronting someone and lecture them about their mode of dressing.There are ways of correcting people without making them feel insulted.We were not born with all these things,but it sure helps to learn.And that is what the holy Prophet taught us.That we seek knowledge from cradle to grave.That the acquisition of knowledge is incumbent,obligatory,compulsory on every Muslim,male and female.
I am always very conscious anytime am in the car with my husband and always have even since he got his first car.I happen to come from a country where the most devoted,most dedicated and most religious live in penury compared to the rich and mighty,negligent and nominal muslims.They just hold on to the rope of Allah.They are the ones that prefer to sacrifice their comfort on earth for Yaomul Qiyamah (the day of Accountability).They fear the world will sway,stray,distract and backslide them from the worship of Allah which is paramount in the life of a muslim.Or rather,should be paramount.Truly,we seek for Allah's Barakah (blessings) when we say 'Rabanna Ateenah Fidunniyah, HassanatanWafil khakheeratih hassanattan wakeena wazaba nar' (Oh!Allah,grant us the best of this life and the Hereafter).But we mustn't fail to always seek the Hereafter ahead of Duniyyah (this world).
Some people throw their knowledge in the face of a striving muslim and make them feel they lack even the basic knowledge of Islam.They just can't help themselves and go on saying well,"I know this","I know that".Isn't 'Allah the one that grants knowledge?He is the Knowledgeable and we need to always remind ourselves of that.My people say this adage that "the one who is alive doesn't know what's going to be the cause of his death yet.Summarily,the one with two legs today,could be a cripple tomorrow.So let him not make jest of the one-legged.Accidents do happen within a twinkle of an eye.The one with riches today could be a pauper tomorrow.He could be robbed,suffer a disaster or worst.The beautiful ones should be cautious because that pretty face can be scarred for life!Some women take pride in all the good things (material) women are expected to have like say jewelleries,bags,shoes,clothes even Ijabs (head cover for Muslim women).I have seen people who wanted to use the Ijab but couldn't afford to buy one.How ironical that some are begged to even use from the lots they have in their wardrobes!
I know&believe that the best things in life aren't 'things'.So,I wonder what some of these people think when they go on and on about how fortunate they are to have lovely children when you're talking with a childless sister in Islam.
Some things we take for granted???How about seeing a fellow sister in distress as too 'whinney'?Perhaps,what should come to your mind is the tasbih (thanking God).Say Alliamdulillah within you,give a listening ear and offer a spiritual and moral support if you can.But do not condemn her because she did not ask to be where she found herself.
Allah forbids that we lose our beloved!A mother of four could become childless just like that.Yes,it has happened before,road accidents,fire outbreaks,wars,natural disasters,just name it.And someone thinks they can rebuke others because Allah has blessed them?Thinkagain!!!
Apart from being a natural-sensitive person ,I have learnt a great deal about Islam&try to put it into actions as possible as I can.When I say sorry,it's usually not because of some hurtful thing I have said or done.I do think very deeply about the consequence(s) of my actions,utterances.I avoid ambiguities and when I err like every human does,I make rectifications.I do try to steer clear contradictions or ambiguities-it lands one in trouble.!
Agreed we'r not perfect,but that is no excuse to be selfish,self-centred,self-absorbed and insensitive.Some people use expressions that weighs more than they meant.Reason why it is good to think before acting.
I think we'd be better-off not saying sorry all the time.Rather,we should come to appreciate Allah's blessings in our lives and when we realise that somebody might be hurt as a result of our actions,then we should make amends&clear the air.
Some people are so insensitive they crack expensive jokes.And even while laughing,they could try to see the other person's reaction and hence,caution themselves.But no, they just go on laughing about an issue which apparently means more to that other person than them.Where is the sisterhood or brotherhood in hurting your fellow Muslims?That is more like"sisterwound" or "brotherwound"?!!!
Something I read a few minutes ago just brought these thoughts to my mind this late evening.My kids&husband are asleep.It's 1.30.a.m.& I should be sleeping as well.But I had to lift this weight off my chest before going to bed because it was something I read that steered the topic.....
Originally written on 5th April,2008!