Constructive Criticism!

Correct Like You Care! We often may not be able to tell between guiding someone to do something correctly, and scolding them for doing it wrongly; without the actual correction. It's a thin line. You probably might have come across the viral post about how the "Yoruba mother corrects with all kinds of insults"...but none of which we take seriously now. Being a child then, you may think differently when your mother refers to you as an imbecile. But of course, you know she birthed you and would never wish for a disabled child. Now that we are older and know better, we generally agree they never meant those words. But fast-forward to present day married or not, your partner or work colleagues tells you, 'you're a dumb head' , or 'empty brained' while attempting to correct you, how would you feel? Or your spouse tells you the reason the house is untidy is because you were picked from the gutters? Or say, you do not know how to care for a child because your parents did not raise you well? Imagine a colleague tells you, he/she is smarter than you and that, they have no clue how you got this job at all, if you fail to understand how to handle a certain project. I could go on with analogies, but I'm sure you get the drift already. The thing is, if your aim is really to make someone better, by teaching, showing and demonstrating that you want them to learn, please do not add salt to injury. I have a problem with the rhetoric of people who insult you, and tell you that you do not like to be criticised. In the first instance, who likes to be put down or called a dummy? Who wants to be told how stupid they are, and that they are of no use? Really who finds it hilarious to be called 'useless'? Everyone, wants some level of self worth, no matter how low you think the person is. So if you truly care to correct, do it with a little compassion, with humaneness and give room for some level of integrity. Even when you are certain this person lacks the intellectual capacity to carry out an assignment, save them the shame of feeling desolate, and remind them they are good at something else. Not being able to type a sentence correctly in English, is not the yardstick to measuring anyone's intellect. Life has gone far beyond grammar and vocabulary. Particularly if it isn't your mother tongue. We have ignorantly killed the morale of many with our shortsightedness, by seeing "brilliancy" as a one-directional trait. Please, do not condemn nor ridicule in your correction. As a trainer, a teacher a mentor, a parent or guardian,-your duty /job is to guide and; teach where necessary. Everyone is unique in their own way. Criticise constructively and not destructively. There's a big difference between the two. One shows love, the other disdain, and /or condemnation. Let's start doing things differently. Weigh those words before you drop them. Choose the lighter against the heavy. And if you cannot see yourself doing the former, then it's okay to say nothing at all.