Tuesday, November 25, 2014

… pen down, but not completely, just yet!

For someone who have studied day and night, online, offline, all year through…yes, all year through. It would be expected that I at least take a break, however short; at least just for today. But I can’t let the day end without putting it into record that, my long journey of obtaining a degree has been concluded today. I should be concerned about seeing the results before I say “finished”, but that’s another phase entirely. So let me take a deep breath for now. A deep sigh of relief …pen down for exams, eyes will rest from flipping through pages, back and forth, and back again. It has been a long journey…Eureka! I wrote my final exam today…(to be continued)

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Practical steps -How To Keep Going When All You want To Do Is Quit

Excerpts from www.entrepreneurmag.co.za , with additional input from me…

  • Get out of your negative space- Leave where and when that feeling sets in for a place you feel relaxed and un-pressured. Think of somewhere you can go, or someone you can be with to lift your spirit-a good distraction.
  • Keep yourself busy- "An idle hand, they say is the devil's workshop". Get busy with something different. Do activities that you enjoy, and which takes your mind off worries. Develop a hobby, if you do not have one already. You'd be surprised how therapeutic it can be.
  • Don't hide from the people you know- This may be a tough choice, but avoiding the people you know doesn't send your problems away. Rather, face them and let that be the motivation you need to not quit. Don't be invisible. If you want to carry on, your presence must be felt. Not everyone wants to see your downfall, there are still some good people out there. So don't throw away the baby with the bath water.
  • Break your goal into small achievable objectives- It makes it easy to notice your success. Afterall, they do say great things start from small beginnings. Don't be too proud to start small.
  • Avoid feeling guilty-Guilt cannot undo what's already been done. It is a distraction you do not need. Learn from your mistakes and move on and work towards the future. So keep moving.
  • Remember why you started- Did you have a passion for what you were doing? Was the choice circumstantial? Was it just for financial gain? If you can answer these questions honestly, then you're on your way to bouncing back.
  • Keep your families and friends around- Do not buy into the cliché of "Trust no one". You've got to trust someone at some point. If you avoid your families and friends, who then would you surround yourself with? They are the ones who will stand by you through the dark times, and remain with you when the good times return. You may as well keep them around for both seasons.




<<School-Of-H*a*r*d-K*n*o*c*k*s>>Truth may be bitter, but needs to be told-{Words-That-Bite-Series}

We usually blame people under whose care we were trained and modelled, for our troubles or wrong turns in life. But here's the harsh, candid truth- there's an expiry date for blaming anyone for your troubles. You cannot blame your parents for life, if they failed to raise you well. You cannot blame your guardians and or anyone who was supposed to look after you till adulthood and beyond. If you're old enough to comprehend what am saying, then you're old enough to make your own life choices. You can become a better person from how you were born, where you were raised and who raised you-the onus is on YOU! Take responsibility for your decisions and actions. Take charge of your life. Move past your 'past'...Don't stay still, keep moving! -BMF

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

What am passionate about…

I can't call it a 'Writer's block' because I haven't really got started. There are a few things I enjoy doing and a few am passionate about. I enjoy hair making, I find it relaxing (when my two girls cooperate, that is). I love to sew (if only I knew how to sew properly) and I've resolved to learn the basics when I can really spare the time. I enjoy crocheting (the story of my crochet is same as the sewing) But don't get me wrong, I've tried my hands on a few things, the simple and uncomplicated ones. I've managed to sew a number of casual wears for everyone in the house, except the newest ten month old addition to the family. From simple gowns to dresses…and I can mend almost anything that can go under the sewing machine. I've always had a skill for stitching and mending clothes by hand needle, for as long as I can recall. If I were not stubborn and in denial of my femininity, I'd have been earning money from sewing. But I think that's actually the problem- I do not intend to do it as a profession or as a means of making money. To me, it's just a hobby, like hair braiding, like writing (Ok, maybe not writing because that's actually one skill I certainly want to earn five figures (or more from-wink). There's something about sewing I feel that I haven't been able to put into words. It's just the way I like watching home make-over shows, taking intense interest in the decoration, seeing the latest technology, being fascinated by kitchen designs, admiring the space and how there's room for everything- Oh! my, I confess, I'm looking forward to my dream home sometime in the future, God willing. So what am just trying to say is that, I love that aspect of home, and the building, and how everything just takes shape from a bare land to something you can actually call a 'home'. Fascinating! But inspite all these, I cannot consider my 'future' career in Interior designs, or construction and what have you. I just enjoy watching and it helps me bring my own dream home alive…that's all.

Something I would really love to do but haven't got the opportunity is volunteering. I cannot erase the image of me volunteering off my head. It just never leaves. And I've always felt that way since I was young, as a teenager.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

The Truth is Bitter,But Needs To Be Told-*Words That bite series* (ctd).

School of H^A^R^D K"N"O"C"K"S>>>

We usually blame people under who's care we were trained and modelled, for our troubles or wrong turns in life. But here's the harsh, candid truth- there's an expiry date for blaming anyone for your troubles. You cannot blame your parents for life, if they failed to raise you well. You cannot blame your guardians and or anyone who was supposed to look after you till adulthood and beyond. If you're old enough to comprehend what am saying, then you're old enough to make your own life choices. You can become a better person from how you were born, where you were raised and who raised you-the onus is on YOU!Take responsibility for your decisions and actions.Take charge of your life.
Move past your 'past'...Don't stay still,keep moving! -BMF

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

still on the random thoughts...thinkingOutLoud!

I multi-task,very much so.But, there are certain things I'd rather not mix together. I consciously would not mix serious studying with anything not so important-such as my hobbies. But,writing makes me break this unwritten rule. Here's my reason-these thoughts are over-ridden by other thoughts if I put off writing when the thoughts are flowing,just like it did today. Sometimes too, I let go if it's one of those thoughts that reoccurs. For obvious reasons, to me at least; I'm not excited about the fact that am writing my final exams. At least, not yet. I have had a huge struggle with my studies this entire session.It hasn't been the easiest of times to stay focused.Like everything else, studying has been demanding,so has playing the role of a mother, a wife,a serious student;amongst other minor yet equally vital roles. The reality is-it can't be easy studying, mixing studies with marital duties,as an open distant learner...One needs to stay focused even though one is distracted.You have to keep going when forging ahead isn't the easiest option. It remains your "best" option. Your goal has to remain imprinted on your mind every single breath you take.I had to continually flash back and remember how far I've come. And then remind myself that, the tougher times are actually behind me-I've done tougher modules and managed to pass them once. This is a feat that didn't come by chance, many sacrifices had to be made; and thankfully it paid off. This past semester in particular had been a trying one-I passed when I expected to fail. This was affirmed by my very low grades-the lowest in the entire period I've spent studying this course. But I'm a firm believer in the saying of winners not being quitters. All I want now is to pass and not have to repeat any of the four modules am writing exams on this final semester. And look ahead towards obtaining my First Degree-after a decade and half of aiming for that qualification. It's been a long hurdle, a high mountain that seemed insurmountable-but am at the end. Am indeed grateful for being kept alive to recount and reminisce. On my finger tips,I can count the number of people who have passed away, whom I knew directly. And that's life,when a journey ends for some,others have to keep moving...and so the journey continues!I do not take life for granted,I am determined to make the best of the time I've got, to make a positive difference in the world, in my own little way-by words, by actions, and by all means at my disposal...one good deed at a time...so help me God!!! 


I can't really call it 'bad timing'...it's just a minor distraction,but a good one. I haven't had an inspiration backed by timeous willingness to write in a long time. And so today,in the middle of my revision (am writing my final exams...spell HECTIC!), I got inspired to put down a few thoughts. I've had a few of those "Words that bite" for sometime now, but never got around to putting any of it down until today.So,here are a few of my "Random thoughts,thinking out loud, Words that bite"!!!HAPPY reading...stay inspired!

My submission on 'dependence' is this: Being human = 'being fallible'. So expect not much from 'anyone'.Willingly or not,disappointments will happen. So rather than HATE that fellow,accept it as one of humans' many flaws.Let your dependence rest alone with your Creator...#Life'sRealities!BMF
One of life's many lessons:Believe it or not,every single one of us has got his/her own battle.We fight different battles because life is made up of opposites. You can see what you think is 'perfect'. Do not be caught-up with illusions and deslusions...nothing is EXACTLY as it seems...there's more than meets the eyes!BMF
Remember that trust is reciprocal. When you're entrusted with a secret,or chosen as a confidant,it means that person believes in your dignity. Do not downgrade yourself from that altitude by being unreliable!BMF
If you've ever made a mistake, then you'd understand human's imperfection. Forgiveness is not an easy route, but you need to move on and cleanse yourself of that dark spot,make room for a peaceful 'you'!Let go...be the bigger person!BMF
I am what I am...
I have my dreams,
I have ambitions
I have aspired
I've stayed inspired
I have walked, stumbled,
But rose again...
Quitters ain't winners
Am resolute, because I am strong,
I am no victim,
I am a survivor,
I am a conqueror...
I believe, I am hopeful,but mostly,
I am faithful
I believe in a Higher Supremacy,
My Creator,my Guardian!
I am just like you...
I am only human!BMF

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Feminine and strong…

Some rules of life...

One of the things that comes easily to me is admitting to my wrongdoing, within myself even if I do not utter it to anyone. I usually have a retrospect on my actions. And this is why I relate with quotes or any form of writing that resonates with my present situation or in relation to my past. I find that the piece of writing I posted above had an impact on me and I consider it worth sharing for anyone else who might be in need of it. I may not be smiling as I type now, but I sure know I do not own the world’s problems, not to compare my life with that of others, desist from over-thinking (I usually process so many thoughts in my head, almost at the same time),to accept a healing process and stop being hard on myself for choices taken at a time of distress, naivety and make peace with that…well, I hope this helps someone at least!

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

I love my Africa, still…

Africa, my Africa! I love my continent still!

Plagued by insurgency in the East, uprising in the North, terror in the West, rebellion in the south,

I love my Africa, still!

Africa, the land of my birth, but a continent I have grown weary of in my "wisdom years",

Was no haven in my tots, but to that I was oblivion,

For those years still remain memories to cherish,

I hiked to school without worry,

Wandered in my innocence without caution,

And hopped about playfully with the innocence known only by a child,

If I had to be anywhere by road, I longed for such thrill

To see places I could not frequent, looking through the windows delightfully

Those days,having a loved one afar meant no disaffection

You would long for such reunion

And in my case as it were

It was so much more fun than a child could have wished for

A three-day ride from Zaria in Kaduna

To the famous Iddo market in Lagos

Was a thrill compared to nothing

And all these have remained but a memory

A reminder of "the good old days"

All I do now is live with hope,

So held by a tiny thread

As I watch my homeland, and its African siblings torn apart by man's selfish, undying desires

Everything has gone so wrong in turns

Where is the Africa I once knew?

For its tranquil has eluded me

But I sigh in hope

Because I love my Africa still!

"Let there be peace in our hearts, peace in our homes, peace in our nation and the world…

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Home Affairs...

Frank talk-
I usually do not join the wagon, except I share the view and strongly too. As a matter of principle, I do not like to make blanket judgements. These days, it is common to read the public’s take on the menace caused by a section of Nigerians. If the world tags us ’terrorists’, should we also join them in turning against our own people? Of course we may not be experiencing absolute unity, because that’s an illusion-no country or sphere in the world has absolute unity. There would always be diversities and differences of opinion about governance and even on personal choices we make daily amongst ourselves and family members. So what are we talking about? If you’re from the Eastern part of Nigeria, there’s every possibility that the only faith you grew up knowing and being acquainted with was Christianity. But if you’re from the South, there’s a likelihood that a member of your family, close or distant practice different faith from you. I was born in the North but raised in Lagos. I attended my elementary education, secondary and post secondary in Lagos. As we all know, Lagos is the place that really portrays the true diversity of Nigeria as a nation. We live together, eat together, work together, attend school together, with ethnics different from us and people of different faiths from what we practice. I am a Muslim unashamedly so. I attended a Baptist owned secondary school, but was still able to practice my faith, proudly too. I cannot recall being in discordance with any of my old school mates in the name of religion. And that’s why am puzzled reading some cold opinions from Christians, who seem to be forgetting that, your next door neighbor may be a Muslim, and no harm has ever come to you from the hands of this person. You probably grew up in the same neighbourhood, attended school together and even used to visit each other’s house after school hours, walk hand in hand along your street, got so close that some may even take you to be siblings (especially if you speak the same language, and not giving away your ethnic group).I have done all that and I’ve got Christians in my family, with whom I grew up, classmates, neighbours, mentors, friends...Let’s go back to the basics people. The people who are shedding innocent blood are not representing the Muslims you knew and grew up with (probably still know). So do not let propaganda or the media poison your mind against a fellow human being who has done you no harm. We are not perfect, our religion is. People will misbehave, human beings are fallible. Do not attribute the status of perfection to humans because we were not created perfect. So before you pass that judgement, pause and ask yourself if every single person of that faith you know or have come across treats you that way. We need to pray for peace in our land and seek this peace in togetherness, not in hate speech or intent.Even if I have erred, please kindly unfriend me…I am a Muslim, unashamedly and I do not hate Christians!

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Like an abandoned child...

Some trickles of guilt almost overtook me logging in a few minutes ago. It's almost as if I felt sorry for my blog, for the abandonment. Ridiculous,right? Well, I don't like that I left my blog un-updated for this long. I wish I could have helped it, but you know what they say-"Life happens".
We were blessed by a new addition into the family on the fifteenth of December. An adorable,portable, cute and already 'clever' baby girl. She is simply a joy to watch! She amuses the family like a rehearsed T.V commercial. I haven't seen such an energetic baby, and this started from infancy. She's already three months old now and am certain the entertainment has just begun. I sometimes almost handle her like a toddler, then remind myself that this muscle-flexing baby is just a few months old. She's  got the energy of a toddler that feeds on sugar and I cannot even begin to list the attempts she makes at covering a'milestone' for her age. She's simply an incredible one. I sometimes feel she understands, so I make little talks, like having a conversation with her older sister. Her older brother and sister adore her immensely,they can't get enough of her. I had to give a serious look and some serious scolding before I get them to do their work; because they just want to hold her in their arms (for as long as I allow them) and do nothing else. Now my most popular phrase is-"There is time for everything",followed by,"Do the right thing at the right time"..and other related phrases that comes to mind.I never run out of them!
For my first and the only boy, he is over the moon having another baby sister. And because he's older now, he appreciates the thought better than he did with his immediate younger sister. And the reason's probably because, he was still a toddler himself when he got a younger sibling. So he couldn't play the big brother role well back then. He seems to be bent on making up for that by 'overwhelming' his new baby sister with so much love, affection and attention. It's hard not to notice it because he just can't help himself.
And all these baby talks makes it feel like I've got nothing else doing-wrong!
Pregnancy ensured I paid no attention to other things but staying pregnant and having to deal with the blues-which was over the charts. So school session got cancelled last year, along with the fees paid (no refunds)...and am back with the books as of January, seriously hoping this is finally going to come to an end by November. I feel like I've been studying since forever...I just want to conclude this programme and move on to yet another level of studying...yeah!It's still going to be books, after books, and after books.And am working towards making that happen...
This is a kind of "welcome to 2014" post,never mind that this is March. Am not promising a consistency, but will ensure I do not stay away this long again...